Escape
by Mizz Blackshaw
Summary: How does Matt go from a rock star to traveling with the stars? How does a pretty girl like Sora make the world pretty? And what do their kids think of their new careers? Based off season 2 epilogue. TRIGGER WARNING: Eating Disorders and Drug Abuse.
1. Matt's Story Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon

A/N: Boys can be anorexic too.

Chapter 1

Lately, I hated waking up. No, I'm not a morning person. No, I'm not a night person. I don't even like the afternoons. The only thing, or should I say people, that makes it worth it are my friends and most importantly, my girlfriend.

I guess I should be happy. I have a very hot girlfriend, nice friends, a singing career, and I've saved the world…three times I think. But how could I be happy? Fingers are constantly being pointed at me. Everyone's looking at me. They all want me or hate me. They love me or envy me. They all want to date me or kill me in a back alley.

Do you get what I'm saying? Ever since I was a little kid I've been in front of the camera. I never told anyone this, but I was in a cereal commercial when I was about eight. I was also in a commercial about shoes and toys and stuff. That's kind of when the tough guy attitude I'm known to have kind of set. Show business is a tough business. Well, that and the divorce.

Years after that, I became part of the DigiDestined. That's when we were shown on the news after defeating Myotismon. There was also the fight on the internet. Years later, I had this dumb idea. "I should start a band. Then, I could get rid of some of my frustration and make lots of money." I actually got a band together and we actually made a hit. Everyone in Tokyo was listening to "I Turn Around."

That's when they wanted a music video.

After our usual make-out session, Sora and I were talking about it in my room. "What's so bad about shooting your first music video? Shouldn't you be excited?"

To be honest, I didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to continue making out. "Music videos are so overrated." I kissed her cheek. "You see yourself…" I kissed her again. "…in all sorts of angles…" Another kiss but this time on the lips. "It's not cool." I went in for another make-out, but she pulled away.

"Come on, what's wrong with seeing yourself?"

"Nothing. Forget I said anything." I went in again.

She pulled away again. "Are you sure? It sounds like you have something to get off your chest."

I rolled my eyes. "You know what? You're right. I'll do the music video if it makes you happy, okay?" I went in but she pulled away for the billionth time. I was starting to get a little frustrated.

"I want you to do the video if it makes _you_ happy. You're the one going to be on TV, not me. You have nothing to worry about. You're beautiful." She kissed me on the forehead and got off my lap. "I have to go."

"Where are you off to so quickly?"

"Tennis practice." She said. "Remember the big tournament? It's coming up soon, remember?" She emphasized that last word as if I really forgot.

"Of course I remember. I'll be there." I got up and held her hand. "Let me give you a ride."

"That's sweet of you!" She gave me a kiss.

"Hey, Dad! We need a ride to school!" I shouted.

"Okay, let me get my keys."

()()

After I dropped Sora off, I went to my practice hall where we began shooting the video. It started off nicely. I didn't have to act that much or dress in a crazy costume. There were others actors doing that for me. My job was to stand there, sing, play the bass, and look pretty. Ironically, that was the hardest part. Some people made it look natural, but for others…

I wasn't one of those naturally beautiful ones. I'm not even the kind to think about it. I don't even care how I look, but I hate it when my career is put on the line based off of what people say. I love my music so I don't want to get fired because people don't like me. I especially don't want to be one of those celebrities who are tortured because they're ugly and lose fans because of it. You have to be perfect to be a star.

After we were done for the day, the director showed us the scene we just ran. I honestly didn't like what I saw. I don't know what about me made me feel disgusted. Maybe it was my physique. Maybe it was my face. My hair looks awesome, but my stomach is kind of bulgy, my arms are a little soft, my legs are like noodles. That was it. My body shape was imperfect. I had too much fat and not enough muscle. I need muscle.

I need a lot of muscle.

()()

That night, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Every window I walked by showed my reflection. My hideous hideous reflection. I knew I had to fix it. But I couldn't really do anything tonight because Dad requested fried shrimp and fries for dinner. All of that fat won't do me any good.

"Dinner is ready." I called. Dad was already at the table as I fixed his plate.

"How was the music video shoot?" He asked.

I put the plate in front of him. "Okay, I guess." I was about to make myself a plate but decided against it. "You know, I don't think I'm hungry."

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yeah." I headed to my room. "And I will be at the gym early tomorrow morning in case you wake up and I'm not there."

"Alright."

And when I said early, I meant early. It was five-thirty the next morning when I jogged my way to the gym. The whole time there, I pushed myself to the limit. Even when I am at the limit, the mental picture of myself kept me going a little bit more. And around nine, I finally left. It was way after breakfast time so I guess I'm skipping.

By the time I got home, I was so tired that I went to sleep. I guess it was from all of the lost hours and the working out. Did you know that you can burn more calories when you sleep on your left side?

()()

I woke up to the sun setting and Sora at my side, feeling completely winded. I wasted the whole day sleeping. Just great. "What time is it?" I asked.

"Its five o'clock." She answered. "You were asleep since I got here at 1. Are you ok?"

"Yeah." I lied. I've been sleeping since 9:30 this morning. That can't be good. "I should go." I grabbed my bass and put it around my back.

"Matt, you look exhausted. Are you sure..."

"I'm fine." I said with acid spitting out through each word. I quickly regretted the snap when I saw her face. She was scared. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head in a nervous please-don't-hurt-me way. "No, I understand. You must be stressed about the video."

I nodded. "I have to go."

"Do you want a ride? My mom is just outside."

"Its okay. Thanks anyway. I can walk."

Sora shrugged. "Okay."

Once my sneakers were on, we both headed out the apartment. That's when I noticed Sora's radiance when the evening sun rays danced on her skin. She looked beautiful. I waved at her mom before lying to my girlfriend. "Oh, I forgot my guitar pick in my room. I'll catch you later." I gave her a kiss.

"Okay. Call me."

I waited until she and her mom were good and gone before taking off running to the performance hall. When I got there, my manager, the director, and the band just looked at me. Staring. "What?" I asked them.

"What?" The drummer, Shinji, said.

"Why is everyone looking at me?" I asked.

"You came in through the door." Mr. Le, the director, said. "Naturally when people come through the door other people turn to see who it is."

I blushed. Maybe they _weren't_ mentally investigating me. "Sorry. Long night."

"Can you still do the video?" Shun, the keyboarder that doesn't talk much, said.

"Yes." I answered, getting into my place. "Well, lets go! I'm ready to rock!"

The other band mates nodded and got into place. And we got started.

()()

I didn't stick around to watch our finished scene. Instead, I went to the gym again. I was feeling pumped and motivated to do a few bench presses. But I didn't want anyone to know I was going to the gym so much. I even went to a different gym on the other side of Odaiba. When I came out it was past nine and I completely forgot about making dinner for Dad. I also forgot to eat again so I guess that was out of the question. I decided to call him on my way back. "Hey, Dad."

"Matt! Where have you been? Its almost 9:30. Where are you?" He nearly blasted my ears off.

"Sorry I didn't call sooner. I was just out with the guys. Gus took us out to eat." I lied.

"Who's Gus?"

"The guitarist."

"Right. Well as long as your okay, its fine."

"Thanks. Do you want me to pick you up something?"

"Don't worry about it. I already ate."

"Okay, Dad. See you at home."

"See you then."

I hung up the phone and sighed. My stomach was growling but I hated eating after nine or I'll wake up with hunger pangs. I looked around and contemplated my situation until I spotted a smoothie shop nearby. Once I was inside, I hurried to the counter, trying my best to hide myself so my fans don't spot me. The bass, on the other hand, gave me away.

"Hi there, Matt!"

I turned around to see my biggest fan. "Hi, Jun."

"What a coincidence you'd be here. Do you come here often?" She took a sip of her smoothie. The cups here are enormous!

"No. Actually I was just leaving." Then to the cashier, I said "One water, please."

"So how's the music video coming? Can I be in it?" Jun continued.

The cashier put a huge bottle of water on the counter and collected the money. "Actually we're almost finished." I lied. "I have to go." I grabbed the bottle and hurried out.

()()

The next day went almost the same. Instead of a huge seven-and-a-half hour nap, I did plenty of housework and I worked on a few new songs. It was a progressive day. When Sora came by in the afternoon, she was amazed at how clean everything was. "Did your mom visit? Or T.K.?" She asked.

"Is it that hard to believe that I did this myself? Dad asked the same question." I said, putting away the vacuum cleaner. "So what do you want to do today?"

"I don't know." She sat down on the couch after I fluffed the pillows. "What do you feel like doing?"

I shrugged. "How about a walk in the park?"

Sora smiled. "Don't you need to save your energy for your music video?"

"Forget the video." I snapped. She looked at me with that same concern. "I'm just...stressed about it." I lied. Well, sort of. That music video did turn me into this Sora-snapping beast. "I don't want to think about it. I just want to be with you."

She smiled again. "That's sweet." She kissed me on the cheek. "I'm sorry for mentioning it."

"Its alright. Lets just walk around. I feel like I haven't spoken to you in days." I wiped the dust off my sweat pants and shirt.

"It looks like you're prepared to run, not walk." She giggled. "Are you working out?"

"A little here and there." I lied again. "I just put on sweats because it was comfortable."

"Wow." She said. "You cleaned your whole apartment and you _still_ have the energy to walk. If I were you, I'd be exhausted. Especially if I had a music video shoot afterwards." She gasped as soon as I gave her the frustrated-Matt look. "I'm sorry. Maybe I should stop talking. Lets just go."

As we walked through the park I noticed something beautiful about Sora. It was her love for anything and everything around her. The way she looked at and admired the trees and flowers made me feel...jealous. I kind of wanted that love. It was something that just wasn't pre-built in me. Loving life just wasn't automatically in my nature like her, Tai, Davis, and even T.K. and Kari. Maybe I was just stressed. Nothing seemed to make me happy at the moment except for being alone at the gym (which barely satisfies me because I'm weak) and Sora. I haven't seen any of my DigiDestined friends in what felt like weeks when its only been a few days. I haven't even eaten in three days because of my crazy schedule. If Sora found out any of this, she would never forgive me. She would be so unhappy. That's the last thing I needed. If I lost her because of my stupidity, I would have nothing.

"Matt, are you okay? You haven't spoken since we got here." Sora said.

"Sora there's something I need to tell you." I said, stopping her in her tracks and holding her hands.

"What is it?"

I paused to look into her eyes. There was a specific spot that I would always find my confidence in. "I love you." I waited for her to respond but she just gave me the surprised look. "Sora Takenouchi, I love you. I just want to know that whatever I do, you will always be there the way I'm there for you. Promise me, no matter what, you'll be by my side."

She nodded. "Of course I'm always there to help you, Matt. But what's with the sudden burst of emotion? What made you say this?"

Honestly, I didn't know. I guess I just had to know that she's committed. "Just stay by my side, okay?" I gave her a hug and kissed her.

_Please, Sora, no matter what I get myself into, love me._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon

A/N: Review if you have an opinion on this story. And I know you do!

* * *

><p>Chapter 2<p>

I knew it was stupid to tell Sora that I loved her out of the blue like that but what was I supposed to do? I was scared. What if something happened to me? What if I turn on myself and kill me in the middle of the night. I already had dark thoughts lately. I've been so stressed with what people keep thinking of me. Lately I've hated waking up in the morning, knowing that I'll eventually have to talk to other people. Its horrible, I know. People just annoy me. People did this to me.

One evening, I was really unfortunate. I was about to hit the treadmill when...he...showed up. "Hey, Matt!" He exclaimed. "Long time no see!"

I turned to face him. "Hi, Tai." I noticed that he was wearing a blue muscle shirt that allowed him to show off his biceps, covering his six-pack abs. "You must work out a lot."

Tai shrugged. "Well not really. I'm just starting today."

"But you're ripped..."

"Me?" He shook his head with a laugh. "I don't think so. I'm just as tiny as you are." Then he looked at my body up and down. I took a warning step back. I knew he was going to say something about my horrible body. "You must be losing weight. You could barely fit into your sweats!"

"Yeah." I said. My stomach was starting again. I could feel it pulling and twisting. "I have to go."

"Okay." He said. "Hey, maybe we could work out together! It'll be nice to have a partner."

I nodded, trying my best to get out of there before my stomach growled. "Sure. Whatever. I really have to go. I'll see you later." Unintentionally, I left out the back door. The dark alley. I doubled over, hugging my stomach. This time, it kind of hurt to be hungry. Maybe I should finally eat something.

But I couldn't get up for a while. Because of my awesome luck, someone opened the door and saw me. "Matt? Matt, what's wrong? What's the matter?" It was Tai with his hand on my back.

I got up and pushed him off. "Its nothing." I spat. "I'm okay. Just leave me alone."

"But, Matt," he gripped my shoulder firmly, "you look like you're in pain. Let me help you..."

I shook him away. His grip hurt. "I don't need help. Just leave me alone, okay?" I stood up and started walking away.

"Matt..."

"I said I'm okay."

"Okay..." Tai said almost afraid. Full of concern.

()()

The second I got home, I did something disgusting. Well, _I_ was disgusted. Dad said he was working late and won't be back for dinner. So I went to the fridge, opened it up, and looked at all of the glorious food inside. I haven't eaten a real meal in four days. But if I eat one now I might gain all the weight and be bigger than when I started.

But at the moment, I didn't care. I grabbed what I could and shoved it into my mouth. I would lick every container clean before starting with another handful of whatever. I didn't even check the expiration dates. I just ate and ate and ate like a savage that hadn't eaten in days. By the time there was almost nothing left, I was uncomfortably full. I sat at the table, finishing the rest of the spaghetti I made a few nights ago. One more bite... One more bite... Too much.

I charged for the bathroom and vomited half of the refrigerator into the toilet. Dad came home that moment. "Matt, I'm home." He said. "Why is the fridge open?" He later asked. "Did we get robbed? There's nothing left but mold. Matt, where are you?"

I flushed the toilet before washing my face and brushing my teeth. Later I got out only to find Dad watching TV. "Hey, Dad." I greeted.

"Hey, Matt. How are you?"

"Fine." I headed towards my room.

"Do you know what happened to all of the food? Its like a whole football team cleaned it out."

"Sorry, Dad. I brought the band over. It was a busy rehearsal." I lied. By then, I kept having sharp pains in my stomach from forcing myself to regurgitate. Good bye calories. "I hope you don't mind."

"No, its okay." He looked at me. "Are you okay? You little flushed."

"I'm fine now." I told him. I knew he knew I just finished throwing up. I just wished he stopped telepathic scolding me. He just sat there looking at me. He knew I did something wrong. "I said I'm fine." I chided.

"What do you mean: you're fine now? Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened." I snapped before taking a deep breath. "Sorry. Its been a long day. I'm going to bed."

"Okay. Goodnight."

The next day, I woke up in a deep dark hole. I hate it here. I didn't see any light. It took me forever to get out of bed. It was probably because I didn't get that much sleep. It was 5 o'clock: gym time. I grabbed my duffel bag and slowly headed out the door.

The dark of the night was in sync with my heart. The dark clouds of the night hung over with invisible strings of torture over my world, dark and bleak. I hate my world. The people judge too much. It wouldn't let me sleep. I can't even eat how I used to unless I get muscle. Oh, how I envied the guys who could eat whatever they want and as much as they wanted and still looked chiselled out of marble. If only I were one of those guys.

The whole time I was at the gym, I felt weird. It was as if I was in the ocean. The waves were just threatening to take me away. It was nice in a way. Calming and soothing. Then, as I was on the treadmill, the ocean waves disappeared and I got my second wind! A random burst of energy surged through my veins, allowing me to run another mile. This gave me eight in total.

But that second wind left around ten when I got out. By then, I felt the ocean waves come back stronger than ever as I made my way home. There was no doubt about it. I was dizzy, wobbling all the way home. But as soon as I got to my apartment, I didn't have the strength to climb the stairs. Eventually, I had a third wind and ran up the stairs.

With that third wind, I had enough energy to clean the house and eat half a banana. I ended up throwing the rest away because I just couldn't eat it. The sudden burst of energy ended when I was in my room. I was doing jumping jacks to my favorite song until I felt it going away. I stopped, hoping I could catch myself. My vision started turning white, I couldn't grasp what was around me, my hearing slowly became muffled to a point where I couldn't hear. My body became too heavy for me to hold. I collapsed.

()()

"Matt!" I heard someone call. "Please wake up."

I cracked an eye open to see T.K. and Dad hovering over me. I noticed my head was resting on T.K.'s lap. He looked scared. Dad looked concerned. "What happened?" I asked, opening my eyes.

"Thank goodness!" T.K. cheered. "You're alive!"

I tried to get up but it kind of hurt. Maybe it was from the work out. "Of course I'm alive. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You were on the floor and I called your name like fifteen times." He said.

"Maybe I should call a doctor." Dad said already headed towards the phone.

"No, Dad!" I yelled. "I'm fine. There's no need."

"Are you sure?" T.K. asked as I stood up. "You look terrible. When's the last time you've eaten?"

"What?" I asked as if he asked me to marry him. Why is this whole eating thing so important to me? Its like its running my life.

"I said its like you've been beaten." He stood up. "Why are you so jumpy?"

I just looked at him for a second. Should I tell him? Should I just tell him how depressed I've been? How my busy schedule changed my eating habits? Well, I don't think he needs to know. I can change it so I won't get fat. Simple, right?

"I guess I'm just stressed about the video." That lie can only go so far. Eventually, the shooting for the music video would end and I'll be left with nothing to hide behind.

()()

For the next few weeks, I've been okay. I've eaten a little bit each day and I work out every morning from 5:30 to ten and every evening from eight (or whenever we're finished shooting for the day) until eleven or so. Random bursts of energy always saved me from dizzy spells and surges of pain. Its almost been a month on this whole diet plan and I think its really working. I've lost twelve pounds of unwanted fat.

But today was just terrible for me. It was Cody's birthday and I was invited to his party. Again, with my luck, it was a restaurant party at Moreali's. They had the best Italian food I've ever tasted. Ever.

I came with Sora, wearing a pair of sweats so no one could see how much fat I had. I'm losing it all as fast as I can. What more do they want from me? Anyway, I spent all morning working out for this moment right here. It was the ultimate test. If I could get through this, I will be okay. I won't bloat and become a big as a blimp before my concert.

"Hey, its Sora and Matt!" Mimi cheered. "Its like we haven't seen you in forever!"

"You just saw me yesterday." Sora laughed, taking her seat.

"I was talking about Matt."

"Come to think of it," Izzy, who was next to Mimi said, "I don't think anyone has heard from you for a whole month."

I just smiled. "Well, we're here now." I said. "I wouldn't miss Cody's birthday. Now lets focus on him and less on me."

I took my seat between Sora and Tai. In the meantime, Kari was telling Yolei something about my song. This only made me nervous and hope that the conversation would change. Finally, the waitress came. "Hi, I'm Stacy. I'll be your waitress for today. Can I start you off with anything to drink? Any appetizers?"

Everyone looked at each other and agreed to get one. Tai, being the leader that he is, decided to get calamari. Then, the waitress took out drink orders. Being our young and stupid DigiDestined selves, everyone got sodas and fancy drinks except for Joe, Tai, and me who got water. By the time the appetizer arrived, my stomach was beyond growling. How embarrassing. We all took one and passed it around. Everyone at once started chowing down except for me. I just looked at it for a second then I started picking it apart with my fingers. I ate a small piece of meat and chewed it over and over long passed the ready-to-swallow point. Once I did, I drank a big gulp of water. By the time I was ready to repeat the process, I chewed another small piece but ended up spitting it back out into my napkin. No one saw. They were too busy listening to one of Davis's wacky story.

The waitress came back moments later. "Are you guys ready to order?"

I hated this part. I've always hated this part. I never liked sharing what I wanted to eat. Luckily, Tai was ordering the Fettuccine Alfredo too, so when it came to my turn, I just said "I'll have the same." Perfect.

The only hard part was the wait. I couldn't stop thinking of the food. I could hear it cooking in the kitchen. Meanwhile, Ken was telling everyone about his strange bus ride from Tamachi. But, unfortunately, someone gave me the floor. It was Kari. "So how's the video coming?"

"What's it about?" Cody asked.

"When will it be out?" Davis asked.

Every question made it harder to concentrate. I just looked at all three of them when Joe asked "Are you acting in it?"

I tried my hardest not to lose my cool in public. "The music video is fine." I said through gritted teeth. "That's all I'm going to say."

"But..." Davis uttered.

I pounded a fist on the table, making all of the plates and silverware jump. "That's enough." I said pretty firmly. Why am I so angry? I sighed before saying "I'm sorry."

"Its okay." Davis said. "You must be stressed about it. I understand. Like this one time..."

I stopped listening. I was too busy thinking about what I'm going to do when the food gets here. Maybe I could... My stomach growled again so I took another sip of water. While everyone was laughing and talking, I just pretended to listen and laugh when they did. I did all of that while I fidgeted with the cuffs of my sleeves.

Finally the food arrived. As much as I wanted to dig in like a savage, I waited for everyone else to start. "How is it?" I asked Tai.

"Awesome." He said before taking another bite.

I took a normal size bite for the first time in almost a month. It was amazing! While everyone was sharing more stories and catching up, I was spending quality time with the fettuccine. It was better than the first time I had it with Jun. By the time I was finished, everyone else was too. Now we were waiting to pay the check.

I grabbed some cash from my wallet and handed it to Sora. "I'll be back." I told her. "Going to the bathroom." I stood up and squeezed behind Tai's chair.

I walked casually into the bathroom like nothing was wrong, but my head was screaming "Why did you eat the whole thing? Do you want to get fat?"

No one was inside as I made my way inside a stall. Looking at my right index finger, I felt guilty. I'm lying to everybody. I'm lying to myself. Cody wanted to have a nice birthday with all of his friends and I'm ruining it by torturing myself by being here. But its okay now. The hard part's over. The food is gone. With that last thought, I attempted forcefully vomiting for the first time. I shoved my finger in my mouth and ended up seeing my Fettuccine Alfredo again and said arrivederci as I flushed the toilet.

"Matt, is that you?"

Damn. It was T.K. I slowly got out of the stall. "Hey." I greeted, making my way to the sinks.

"Are you okay? Are you sick?" He asked, coming closer to rub my back.

I quickly stepped away. "I'm fine, T.K. Don't worry." I resumed washing my hands and then drying them.

"Are you sure? I can go call Mom and..."

I gave him a smile. "I'm okay." Then I put a hand on his shoulder. "Really."

T.K. nodded. Then he sighed before saying "Its just that...you sounded like you were in pain."

"Oh, it was probably because I ate too fast. That fettuccine is really good." Then I said. "Thanks for checking up on me, T.K., I really appreciate it."

"Um...no problem..."

"I love you, bro. Promise me that whatever happens you'll feel the same. No matter what I do, you'll stay by my side."

"Matt, I promise, but what's gotten into you?" He asked, stepping back and getting a good look at me. "Are you sick? Do you have a fever?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Then what is it?"

I squinted. A habit I never knew I had until I was thirteen. "I said nothing's wrong. Why is it so hard to except that?"

"Its just that..."

"T.K., I wish you would just butt out of my life! You don't know what I'm going through right now and you'll never know!"

T.K. just looked at me with those big blue eyes. He looked so scared and I was the blame. Why am I so angry? Why was I so broken? Why was I pleading so much earlier? Why was I so scared? T.K. kept staring at me. As soon as I squinted again, he looked down at his feet. "Matt, I think you might have a problem."

"No!" I yelled, grabbing onto his shoulders. "I don't! You have a problem!"

T.K. shook me off. "Matt, cut it out, okay? You're scaring me." He gave me a smile. "Maybe you should see my therapist. She's wonderful!"

I raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing seeing a therapist?"

He looked around before whispering in my ear "I'm a little bit bipolar."

My eyes widened. "You are?" He nodded. "Since when?"

"Well, after the whole darkness in the Digital World nonsense, Cody kind of mentioned to Mom how I would be so angry about the dark forces one minute and completely happy the next. She contacted my therapist and they diagnosed me for bipolar disorder. Its no big deal."

I just rolled my eyes. Who cares about his stupid therapist? "I don't need your therapist. I don't have a problem."

"Well, here's her card in case you change your mind. It'll be okay."

It'll be okay. I didn't know how long I've waited to hear those words. The flames of depression burned within me and those words kind of calmed them down. For the first time in a long time, I've seen hope. Tears started to form in my eyes as I turned away, hoping my little brother didn't see. I sighed before letting out a small sob.

"Oh, Matt..." T.K. stood in front of me and gave me a hug. "I wish you would tell me what's wrong."

I continued sobbing. "Me too."

()()

It was Saturday morning. That was when it all just seemed bad for me. Dad stopped me this morning before I could hit the gym. That's what happens when you sleep in. "Hey, Matt!" He greeted. "Long time no see!"

"Yeah." I only said, grabbing my duffel bag.

"Aren't you going to eat before you go? You need food for energy." He sat down at the table, fixing himself a bowl of cereal.

I looked at him then the bowl of cereal. "I'll just pick up something on the way."

"Matt, sit down." He said a little more forcefully. Once I did, he continued. "We need to talk about this."

"About what?" I squinted.

He waved his hands in front of him, presenting the imaginary situation. "This! You leave so early and come back so late. How do you sleep at night?"

_I__don't,_I thought.

"Let me rephrase that." He continued. "How can you get up in the morning? If I were a boy your age getting a few hours of sleep, I'd be too tired to wake up."

I just stared, unable to say anything. I didn't know what I would say.

"You might not know this but these walls are thin." There was that word again. Thin. "I hear you every night around midnight doing crunches. I just want to know if you're okay, son."

"Why does everyone keep asking that?" I asked with obvious irritability in my voice. "I'm okay!"

"With your crazy schedule, do you have time to eat?"

I sunk a little lower in my seat. "I told you. I eat with the band after rehearsals."

"Then how come when I went over to the performance hall, you were nowhere to be found? Your band was there and you weren't. They told me you go to the gym every night."

I started to shake a little. I've been found out. "Dad, I was there with Tai. He needed company when he works out so I volunteered. I hardly tell anyone, because he's a little embarrassed. Then we go eat something healthy at his house. And for the ab crunches, the music video kind of keeps me from sleeping so I do a few crunches to tire me out."

He nodded. "Well, okay then." He pushed his bowl towards me. It was untouched this whole time. "I'm getting ready to head down to the station. You eat."

"Okay." I watched him leave into his room. Then I went to the sink and poured all of the cereal down. No one will miss it. A few minutes later, I called to Dad. "Okay I'm finished! Going to the gym!"

"Okay!" He called back.

It was 8:30. Sora made plans to meet each other at the park at noon. That only means I should only lift weights today. But I couldn't really enjoy myself. I was thinking too much about how close Dad was to finding out, how scared T.K. looked, Tai's concern when I was doubled over, the look in Sora's lovely eyes when I snapped at her. I was causing misery.

Around eleven, I stood on the scale in the locker room like I always did after I worked out. In a month, I've lost almost fifteen pounds. That's good. I still have a lot to lose.

I met Sora at the park with a huge bottle of water an hour later. She looked stunning in her track suit. I just had on a pair of baggy sweats...again. "Ready to jog?" She asked, doing a few stretches.

"Ready when you are." I answered, doing the same.

"Okay I'm ready."

We started. Meanwhile, I was still feeling the guilt. How do I deserve the Crest of Friendship if I've never seen my friends in a month?

"What are you thinking of?" Sora asked.

I smiled. "Nothing in particular." I said. "I was just thinking of you. You must be getting a lot faster." I scratched the back of my head. The scary part was when I brought my hand back, a lot of hair came with it. I gasped as I waved my hand around to get it off.

"What's wrong?" Sora asked.

"Nothing." I said quickly. "It was just a bug."

She shrugged it off and continued. "So what's new? Its like I haven't seen you in forever."

"Just the video. I'm really focused on it." I lied.

"So what got you into working out all of a sudden?" She started panting. "I could barely keep up."

"Well, all of the other celebrities do it so I do to." I answered. "I gotta look my best for my audience."

"But if you lose too much weight, you're gonna be nothing but skin and bones."

There was the broken record again. "Sora, I'm fine." I snapped. "I'm just fine."

"What has gotten into you lately?" She yelled as she stopped jogging.

I stopped. "What?" I yelled in anger.

"You!" She yelled back. "What's wrong with you? You've been acting different ever since you started shooting for that music video."

"Nothing is wrong with me!" I yelled back. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Because you're yelling at me!" She calmed down a little. "After all the time we've ever spent together, you never yelled at me. Not once." She took a step closer and I took one back."Matt, if there's a problem, I want to be there for you."

She reached a hand towards me and I was stupid enough to smack it away. "I said I'm fine!"

"Matt, I want to help..." She stepped closer to me after I kept saying I was fine. This only got me even more angry. Sora reached out another hand but I slapped it away.

"I said I'm fine!" I yelled even louder. Then, as if in slow motion and with greater force, I slapped her.

Sora's head kind of flew to the side before she came back up, nursing her cheek. We both stared wide-eyed at each other. What have I done? She was only trying to help. What kind of DigiDestined am I if I hit the one who tried to help? I was frozen. This whole whatever this this is turned me into a monster. I looked down at my trembling hands in fright. What have I done? I couldn't even gather up the strength to say I was sorry. How could I speak with my throat so dry? I looked back at her. She was so scared. As scared as I was. Before any of us could talk, if we could, I ran away. I ran away so I wouldn't do any harm.

* * *

><p>So that's chapter 2! I would've had it out sooner but I forgot. Anyway, leave a review! You're opinion matters!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon

A/N: I hope you like it so far! This is a powerful chapter.

* * *

><p>Chapter 3<p>

The day finally came. It was over. The music video for I Turn Around is finally finished. My precious excuse was gone. Now everyone will know how self-conscious I am about my body shape. But I still have something to worry about. The camera adds ten pounds.

After a nice work out at the gym, I looked at myself in the mirror. It wasn't how I wanted but that just means I need more exercise. I could see my ribs through my skin more now than usual. But you have to get rid of fat before you gain muscle. I still had a lot of work to do. I didn't even weigh myself before I left.

On my walk home, I was just craving so much. I had to walk past so many fast food places. Don't think about it. But I couldn't help it. As soon as I came to the first magazine rack I saw, I bought a food magazine. It was filled with all sorts of recipes and ideas. I felt inspired, so I ran the whole way home.

"Dad! I'm cooking lunch!" I called as soon as I got home. The one recipe that caught my eye was one for homemade egg rolls.

"Great!" He said. It sounded like he just woke up. "But Matt, its not even noon."

"Well, I'll make brunch." I got started.

I haven't cooked in a while, so I kind of hit the ground running. I might've hit my head on the ground when I couldn't stop sniffing the ingredients. Whenever I threw something on the stove, I would inhale the aroma and the sizzling sound soothed me. Every time I cooked before, the smell of it and spending so much time with it made the food impossible to eat. So today, I'm getting a good whiff of everything and spending as much time on it as I can. It worked pretty well. By the time I was finished, I felt so full I was dizzy and gagging.

"Okay, it's ready!" I called, fixing him a plate. "I hope you like it. It's a new recipe I found." As he was silently eating, (a sign that he likes it) I was busy cleaning up. I picked up a piece of pepper and ate it behind his back. "What do you think?"

Dad finished eating and showed it by putting his napkin on the plate and leaning back in his chair. "It was good but you could've used just another pinch of salt."

I squinted. "What?"

"I said you might want to add another pinch of salt next time but other than that, it was fantastic."

I gave him the death glare and behind gritted teeth I said "I spent so long making that dish for you and you don't like it."

"That's not what I said."

"But that's what you meant to say." I threw off my apron. "Besides, salt is bad for your health. The music video premieres today so I'm going to take a nap."

Dad scratched his head, searching his mind for a response. "Are you okay?"

"Just dandy!" I nearly yelled and went into my room. In there were some crazy things. I took the food magazine and cut up all of the cool recipes and pinned them up on the wall. I did the same with several body builder magazines I took from the gym. About a half hour later, my walls were covered with random pictures of food and muscle guys. I was also doing more crunches in between. Once I was finished, I wanted more. I needed more reminders of what I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to stay away from.

But some cravings were hard to shake. I wanted... No, I needed cake. I opened up the case for my bass guitar to find, not the bass, but a huge amount of snack cakes. I looked at the beautifully individually wrapped beauties before zipping up the case and taking it with me to the bathroom. Luckily, no one saw me.

I locked the door, nearly ripped open the case, and started chowing down. Well, sort of. I shoved them in my mouth, chewed them, enjoyed them for a while, and spit it out in the toilet. I'm completely disgusted with myself too but I just couldn't stop. It was just too good. About twenty-five cakes later, I rinsed my mouth out about five times. By the time I was ready to swallow, I had nothing but water in my mouth. No calories. No worry.

()()

The music video was about to premier in an hour and the band was to meet at the Dance Dance Jump studio. Dance Dance Jump was the biggest, most famous music show in Japan. It was the show that makes or breaks. I was so nervous and cold yet very light-headed. I know it was summer time, but I still had on a jacket. All of my clothes for the first time in a long time weren't sweats. However, they were still a few sizes too big.

My bandmates were so excited. They were going to be on TV for the first time but I could care less. All I can think about was food. When am I going to eat again? What am I going to eat again? How am I going to eat again?

Snapping me out of these thoughts was Shinji. "Can you believe it? In an hour, we're going to show our music video on TV!"

I just nodded.

"Are you okay?"

"A little nervous." I told him. "I'll be okay though."

"Are you sure?" I nodded. "Well okay. Time for makeup!"

I nodded again. As soon as he left, I dug around my pocket for these diet pills Mom uses. They were designed to make you feel full so you eat less. I quickly took a few and gulped some water from the dressing room. After that, I was mentally preparing myself in our dressing room for the premier. What is everyone going to say about me?

"Why are you so nervous?" Gus asked. "We're just going to show our music video and answer a few questions."

I sighed. "I just... I guess its just..." I sighed again, burying my face into my hands. My mind was just clouded with thoughts about food and my weight loss. "I'll be okay." I told him.

"Alright. We're on in a few minutes."

"What?"

"I'm only kidding!" He laughed, slapping me playfully on the back.

"Don't do that!" I snapped. Then I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"No worries." He said but he kept looking at me. "Are you sick or something? You're shivering."

I looked at my hands. They were trembling. "I guess... I hope I'm not getting sick. Is it cold in here to you?"

"Well, it is a little cold but you're basically having mini seizures."

"Yeah..."

"Let me go tell someone to turn down the AC." He started making his way out.

"No, Gus. It's okay. I'll be fine." I said. "I don't want the cameras to melt!" I've read online that being cold burns calories.

Gus laughed with me. Then he looked around at the place. "Hey, you didn't eat your complementary sandwich. Maybe that will calm your nerves." He handed me the plate with a few tiny finger sandwiches. It was a huge platter with ham, turkey, and roast beef. "Go on. Take one."

I took a turkey sandwich. "Thanks." I said, already picking it apart. "Hand me a napkin, will you?"

"Sure." He handed me one.

I picked out a piece of lettuce behind his back and ate it. As I was chewing it, I took a bit of my sandwich and wrapped it in the napkin. "This is pretty good." I said. He turned around and saw me chewing the lettuce with bite of sandwich gone. Gus nodded and continued with whatever he was doing. "You know, maybe I am getting sick. I'm not that hungry."

He shrugged. "Well, you can't waste a good sandwich." He grabbed it from me and ate it.

I smiled at a mission accomplished as there was a knock on the door. "Come in." I said. It was Tai, Sora, T.K., and Gabumon. Sora was holding flowers. I gasped at the sight. I haven't seen Sora since the day I slapped her.

"I'll just leave you guys alone." Gus said, quietly making his way out.

As soon as he left, I was still speechless. "Surprise!" My loved ones said.

Instead of telling everyone how happy I was to see them, I fell into tears. After all this time of avoiding them and being a jerk, they still came to support me. I have the best friends in the world.

"Why are you crying, Matt?" Gabumon asked. "I thought you'd be happy to see us."

As soon as I gathered enough strength, I said "You guys are the best. I was a jerk to all of you and you still came to see me."

"Of course, Matt, we're always there for you."

I believed my Digimon but I still cried. "Sora, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay." She said. "I forgive you. I talked it over with Tai and we knew you were just stressed out."

I sat down on a chair and tried my best to stop crying. Once I did, I said "I'm really freaking out right now."

"What's wrong?" Tai asked.

"It's the video. We're showing this for Dance Dance Jump which is huge for people in the music business. What if they don't like me?"

"They will." T.K. said. "Jun does."

"Yeah well..."

"Matt, you'll do fine." Tai put a hand on my back and rubbed it for a second. Then he pulled away.

"Thanks, guys, I really appreciate you coming here. It means a lot."

Sora kissed my forehead. "We're going to find some seats. Everything will be fine."

And that was that. I was alone soon after with my thoughts. I took a look at the platter of sandwiches that was now down to a few due to Gabumon snacking. They were just sitting there, mocking me. So I just took them and threw the whole thing away. Then I walked out to get ready for makeup.

()()

"Welcome to Dance Dance Jump! I'm your hostess, Masami! Today, I'm here with the Teen-Aged Wolves, where we're going to premier their first music video for I Turn Around and get a brief insider on the band!" The beautiful Masami sat down at her normal chair and shot a smile towards us. "So how was it, shooting your first video?"

Naturally, I was the one to speak. Its always been that way for every interview. "It was very fun and rewarding to have this opportunity. Its something we've all dreamed about since we started this band. It was such a nice journey working with everyone."

Masami nodded as she took in the whole thing. "Well, I'm going to save some of my further questions for later. Right now, Dance Dance Jump presents I Turn Around by The Teen-Aged Wolves!"

Everyone applauded as the screens around us showed our video. This was actually the first time the whole band has seen the whole thing. I forced myself to watch it, but I couldn't help but to turn every so often to see everyone's reaction. I couldn't tell what they were thinking. They were too busy watching. As the video went on, it got harder and harder to watch. I could just see the fat all over the place. No matter how hard it was, I still had to watch in case she asks a question about it. The whole time, I was messing around with the cuffs of my jacket, still shivering. Once it was finally over, everyone applauded again. I took a deep breath. But I still smiled.

"What a wonderful video!" Masami clapped. "It must've taken a long time to rehearse that."

"It took about a month but it was worth it!" Shinji said.

"What was your favorite part about this video?"

No one said anything so I said "My favorite part is letting the audience enjoy what we worked so hard on. The audience means so much to us. We wouldn't be here without them." Basically, I just sugar-coated the fact that I liked that its over. But the audience applauded anyway.

I could've sworn I heard Jun say "I love you, Matt!" Her crush on me has gone from crazy person who would do anything to be with me to a very enthusiastic fan girl. I'm not complaining!

"My favorite part would have to be working with the fire effects." Shinji said. "I've always dreamed of working with it for as long as I can remember."

I stopped listening to the others. I was too busy thinking about my growling stomach. It shouldn't be growling. I took pills earlier. I smiled and nodded as Masami kept talking before I took a sip of the water they gave us. The last question was for Gus who just rambled on about something. I took another sip before he finished.

"Now," Masami said, "I realized you're still in high school. Is it hard to balance band rehearsals with school work?"

I shook my head. "Not at all. We rehearse at a specific time every evening and we're always willing to cancel whenever something comes first."

_When__will__this__be__over?__I__need__to__eat_, I thought.

"And how do your classmates feel about your stardom?"

Shun and Shinji looked at Gus and then they all looked at me. "Well," I started, "we kind of have an understanding with our classmates. Yes, sometimes they would come up and ask for an autograph here and there, but its all kind of professional during school hours."

"Our last question is for Shun." Masami said. I was just glad it was almost over! "Your fans want to know why you took on as the strong silent type. We all love to hear your voice but we also like how you're so mysterious."

Shun cleared his throat. "I've always been a quiet person. The whole strong silent type is just who I've always been. Its not because I don't like to talk or a fake personality. Its just that I don't have much if anything to say."

Masami smiled at him. "Well, that's all we have time for right now. I would like to thank the Teen-Aged Wolves for coming. You guys were amazing! After the break, I'll meet up with teen pop star Megume to settle the rumors about her love life. Stay tuned!"

Once the camera guy gave us the signal that we were off the air, we all got up, shook hands with Masami, and went back to the dressing room. "That went better then I expected!" Gus cheered.

"What did you think would happen?" Shinji asked. "Did you think another monster attack would happen?"

"Yes actually." He answered. "Weird things happen here. We nearly lost Shun at our last big show."

Shinji nodded. "Well, we don't have to worry about that. We're done!"

I yawned a huge yawn that kind of came out of nowhere. That was accompanied by a huge stretch. "Well, someone's tired!" Gus joked. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay." I told him. I wasn't really. Everything in the room started to twist and turn. I was still shivering as I tried to blink the peculiar image away.

"Are you sure?" Shun asked. "You look like you're a little low on blood sugar." He handed me an orange juice carton. He was diabetic so he carried a lot of those.

I opened it and took a huge gulp. It helped a little. Maybe I was getting sick. Who knows? "Thanks." I said after finishing the small carton.

"No problem."

"I really hope you don't get sick." Shinji said. "Summer colds are hard to get rid of and we're going to be on tour!"

"What?" We all shouted.

"I'm kidding!" He laughed. "You should've seen your faces!"

Suddenly our manager, Mr. Kazama, came in. "Great interview, Teen-Aged Wolves! Now we can get ready for our next concert in a few days!"

"What?" We all yelled. I was the only one to scream in terror.

Everyone nodded and cheered. I, on the other hand, looked down at my shoes and fidgeted with the cuffs of my jacket. But who was I to ruin their fun. Who knows? Maybe I'll warm up to it.

()()

The rest of the night was just a blur. I remember vaguely that my friends wanted to treat me to dinner but I refused. I was feeling terrible then but I got a burst of energy in the middle of the night so I could do ab crunches.

But the next morning, I felt terrible again. I was dizzy and I had a cold. As I packed up my duffel bag to ready for the gym, I could barely breathe. Plus I've overslept so I might run into Dad.

"Hey, Matt!" He greeted. "Have some breakfast with your dad before you hit the gym. You're going to waste away."

Before I could refuse, I sneezed violently twice. "I'm good." I said, hoping he wouldn't notice and trying to leave out the door.

"Are you okay? He asked. "Are you sick?"

"Of course not." I was closer to the door.

Then he said "Hold it!" I shook a little before I turned around. "Tell me you're not going to the gym with that bad cold."

"Its just a cold." I told him. "I'll be okay."

"Matt, you spend more time in the gym than you do in your own house. I'm afraid that you're losing too much weight."

"What do you suggest I do, Dad? Get out of shape?"

"You don't have to spend your life in the gym to be in shape. All I'm asking for is you to take a break. Come on. You're sick."

"You have no idea what its like to be in front of the cameras all of the time. If everyone's looking at me, I have to look my best." I tried to leave again but Dad stopped me again.

"Matt..."

"What, Dad? What is so important?" I raised my voice. "This is my body. If I want to get exercise, I'll do it!"

"Matt, what's your problem? You never yelled at me before that music video and now..."

"The music video has nothing to do with anything!" I opened the door. "I'm going to the gym."

"No you're not!" He yelled.

I turned towards him with plenty of anger. I was literally blinded with rage and I was also starting to get light-headed and dizzy. Before I could say anything, I collapsed. I was out.

It was probably for a few minutes or even an hour when I woke up. I was alone with an omelet on my lap. I put the plate under my bed so I wouldn't see it. Slowly, I got out of bed and into the bathroom where I chugged down some tap water and the right amount of cold syrup. I was feeling a bit better after that.

As I headed back to my room, Dad saw me with the phone in his hand. "Oh, you're up." He said. "You're mom is on the phone."

Dad handed me the phone. "Hi, Mom."

"Matt, I saw your music video. It was really nice."

"Thanks, Mom."

"But I've noticed something."

I held my breath. Did she find out? "You did?" I asked. "What is that?"

"I've noticed something about you."

"Me?" She noticed.

"Yes. I know you're a skinny boy but - this might sound crazy but - it looks like you've lost weight. Have you?"

"It was probably just a computer error." I lied.

"Are you sure?" She asked. "T.K. told me you fainted the other day. Do you know what happened?"

I remembered that day. My little brother was so scared. Dad was so concern. I haven't eaten. I refused. I did this to myself and I got everyone involved. I've lied to so many people. I've lied to everyone. I've snapped at so many people. I was a monster.

"Matt, what happened that day?" She asked again. At this point, I just felt so disgusted with myself.

"I guess I was just weak that day. I'm okay now." I lied again.

"Well okay. Just don't over do it, okay? I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you." I bit my lip at that. I didn't want to burst into tears in front of my dad. "I love you."

"I love you too." I said.

"Let me speak to your father."

With a sigh, I did what I was told before heading back to my room. I hated being a liar. But lately, that's all I've been.

()()

That night, I decided to leave the gym a little later than usual. It was after ten when I was in the locker room. I was alone with my dark thoughts again while everyone else was at Mimi's house watching movies. Well, I thought I was alone until someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and noticed it was Tai. "Long time no see." He said.

"Hey." I greeted.

"What a work out." He said. "I'm wiped. Can we sit down?" Tai gestured towards a bench.

I followed him to the seat and sat next to him. "Why aren't you at Mimi's?" I asked.

"I didn't feel like watching movies." He answered. "How about you?"

"I was busy."

"Busy working out for hours on end?" He asked. My heart was in my throat as I tried to make up an excuse.

"Are you sure it was me?" I started messing with my cuffs again.

"Matt, I'm not stupid." He raised his voice. "Look at yourself."

I refused to look at the mirror next to me. I just kept my head low to the ground.

"Why are you doing this to yourself? Why aren't you eating anything?" He asked in a very firm voice. "Answer me."

"How did you find out?" I only asked.

Tai looked at me for a second, clearly disappointed. "Pull your sleeves up."

"Why do I have to...?"

"Pull them up." He said a lot firmer.

I gulped before slowly pulling them up. I gasped, looking at the thin sticks called arms and little left over muscle attached onto it.

"Are those the biceps you wanted?" He asked. I could tell he was just as shocked. "Lift up your pant legs."

I took a deep breath before doing so. My legs were so tiny. I could see veins and strings around my ankles. My knees were so knobby. I quickly rolled my pants back down.

"Are those the runners' calves you wanted?" Tai asked. Then he gulped before saying "Lift up your shirt."

I looked at him and then my reflection. "Tai, I..."

He was trembling by now. He knew he didn't want to see this but he did it so I could get the picture. "Lift up your shirt."

I sighed before slowly doing so. My stomach was in terrible shape. My ribs were sticking out while the rest caved inwards. Tears were streaming down now. "Oh my..."

"Is that the six-pack you wanted? Yesterday, I felt your spine through layers of clothing. I found your hair brush the other day covered in your fallen hair." Tai was doing his best not to cry. I knew how much it hurt him. He doesn't like seeing his friends in trouble. "Why would you do this to yourself? You looked great without it."

"I...I don't even know anymore." I sobbed.

"Did you know you were killing yourself just to get muscle mass?"

"I thought I could handle it." I wiped a few tears away but they kept coming. "But I just can't..."

"Can't what?" He pressed. "You can't get muscle? You have to eat."

"I can't." I cried. "I can't stop what I'm doing. Not now."

"What do you mean?"

I calmed down before saying "Its already become a hard habit for me to break. I can't stop."

"Matt, get some help." Before I could refuse, he said "Please."

I looked into my pocket and found the card T.K. gave me. Then I shoved it back into my pocket. I looked at Tai with deep intensity before getting up to leave.

"You owe me that much. I helped you get out of the Digital World. You owe me your friendship." He said before I left. As soon as I touched the cold door knobs of the locker room, I could hear Tai. He was crying. He was crying for me.

()()

As soon as I got home, I turned on the lights to my room and found Gabumon just sitting there and staring at me. It startled me so I dropped my gym bag. My friend looked so angry. "Matt, where have you been? Its almost eleven o'clock. We were worried about you."

"Gabumon, I..."

"You must be starving. You missed dinner!" He gave me a smile.

I didn't deserve his friendship. I didn't deserve anyone's friendship. I hated myself for doing this but I did. "I'm not hungry."

* * *

><p>Thanks for the reviews so far. I advise that you visit the bottom of my profile page. It basically asks the question if I'm a good writer or not because I want to write stories for the rest of my life. All I ask is that you flame if you want. Tell me how I'm doing, and tell me how I can improve. Please tell me! Review!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon

A/N: What did you think of that last scene? Review!

* * *

><p>Chapter 4<p>

Look at me. No, wait. Don't. I'm nothing.

You are what you eat. I ate nothing so I am nothing. Why can't I eat?

Maybe I don't have a problem. Yeah. What does Tai know? He's just jealous that my body is a lot more fit than his. And by the time the concert actually came, I was okay. He was wrong. I was ready to rock!

Before the show, everyone was tuning their instruments and the other stuff while I was jumping rope. I was so pumped. I was ready to do this! Shun came up to me after I just hit a hundred. "Aren't you nervous? You're more ready for this than presenting the music video." He said.

"No one's asking me personal questions. Plus we're just here to have fun. Its a concert. We're performers. We have to be fun." I continued jumping.

He just shrugged and continued on with whatever he was doing. That's when Shinji came up next. "Quit fooling around. We have a concert to get ready for." He said.

"I'm waiting for the concert to start." I said. "I've already did what I needed to do."

"Whatever. Just don't wear yourself out."

"Ten minutes!" One of the stage guys said. "Ten minutes until show!"

I grabbed my bass and strummed a bit for practice. After a few minutes of that I went to my place on stage. I was so ready for this! As I was standing behind the curtain, I heard the crowd screaming our names! I love this part! This is why I started a band. There were nothing but fans to please. "Are we ready yet?" I whispered to the rest of the band.

"Three minutes 'til show!" Another stage guy said. "Three minutes! Start getting into places!"

Shun, Shinji, and Gus hurried onto the stage. "Ready?" Shinji asked.

"I was ready a half hour ago." I told him. "Just count us off."

He nodded and raised his drumsticks in the air. Then he tapped the beat. One two three four. And on the down beat, we played a little opening tune to get the audience fired up. And did they get fired up! With all of the hands in the air, it was almost impossible to spot my friends. Dad couldn't make it this time but that's okay. Jun made it like she usually does. I could hear her screams clearly!

"How's it going, Tokyo?" I shouted into the mic. They responded with more cheers and screams. "I can't hear you! I said how's it going, Tokyo?" They cheered even louder. "Now that's what I want to hear!"

Shinji started the next song and the show started for real. Everything went okay at first. I was singing and playing while everyone else was enjoying themselves. About a few songs later the worst thing happened: my wind was gone. The ocean waves were back. It was in the middle of a song when all of the lights started to swirl and I just realized how hot it was. I had to stop singing and point the mic to the audience just so I could catch my breath. I was suddenly very tired. Even if I was sweating bullets, I couldn't take off my jacket or everyone will see how hideous I am. What to do? The ocean waves hit harder and harder as I swayed around the stage. There was no denying it. I was going under. Everything started getting white again and my hearing began to fade away as I belted out one long final note. I held the note for a few seconds before falling...off the stage.

()()

When I opened my eyes, I noticed I was in the hospital with my parents, Gabumon, T.K., Tai, and Sora surrounding me. "Mom..." I uttered.

"Its okay, honey. We're here." She said.

They all looked so worried. Especially Gabumon. I felt so guilty. I brought so much pain. I tried to get up but I was in so much pain. "What happened?" I asked. "All I remember is falling off the stage."

"You landed so hard that you fractured your left arm." Dad had the guts to say. "The doctors say you might experience pain in your neck and back but it'll be temporary."

Tai stepped forward. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel the pain." I managed a small chuckle. "Don't worry. I'm fine."

He nodded. "Okay."

"We were so worried about you." Sora said. "As soon as you fell, we came as soon as we can. Tai had to push a few fans off so they wouldn't tear you to shreds!"

Even if Sora gave a laugh, I could see the tears threatening to come out. I probably caused so many tears. I know I caused pain. I know I caused worry and fear. I've lied too many times. I've lied more times these past six weeks than I have in...well a year but you know what I mean. It's time to come clean and end it here.

"I really appreciate you guys for coming here. But can I speak to Gabumon alone?" I asked.

Tai smiled. Maybe he knew what I was going to tell my Digimon. I know he's happy that I'm finally giving up this charade. They all cleared out as Gabumon stepped forward. "We'll be in the lobby if you need us." Dad said.

Once the door closed, Gabumon said "What is it, Matt?"

I sighed. "This isn't easy to admit." I said.

"Do what you can." He told me. "Don't strain yourself."

"Okay." I thought for a second. "I did something really stupid."

"Why don't you tell me what happened on stage?" He asked. "What do you think made you suddenly faint like that?"

"It's because... It's because I haven't eaten."

Gabumon's eyes widened. "When's the last time you've eaten?"

I looked down at my hands. "I don't remember the last meal I've eaten and kept down." I sighed as I removed the covers, revealing my gross body. Gabumon gasped and took a step back.

"Matt... Why...? How...?"

"I need help." I said with tears going down my face. "I can't stop, Gabumon. And I need help."

"I will do what I can." He said. "But what caused you to starve yourself like this? I worried about you enough before. You didn't need to lose weight."

"I did." I said. "I did have to lose weight because I looked gross. And now I look like a monster and you and everyone else were right."

"You can still change." He said. "You know that. How much do you weigh now?"

I shrugged. "I stopped weighing myself a long time ago." I said, slowly getting up. "But I have to know."

He nodded before following me out. We headed down the hallway in silence, passing by a few patients. This only made me nervous and want to mess with my cuffs again. But that's when I noticed my arm in a sling and I had on the tank top I wore under the T-shirt I was wearing. I felt vulnerable. Very vulnerable. I asked a passing doctor help me with the whole weight thing. She politely smiled and told me to get on the scale. But as she was pushing down the little marker, her frown got bigger and bigger. I knew that was bad.

"Sir, you're dangerously underweight. Without this cast, you stand at ninety-seven pounds."

I gasped and nearly fainted again when I heard that. Ninety-seven? I haven't been that light since I was eight. Or maybe younger? "Ninety-seven?" I asked.

"Matt, it's okay." Gabumon said. "You can still get help."

"Your Digimon is right, Matt." The doctor said. "I know a fabulous therapist that works with anorexia." She pulled out a card out of her pocket and handed it to me. "Have your parents give her a call."

I took a look at the card and noticed it looked familiar. I dug around in my pocket for the card that T.K. gave me. It was the same. It was exactly the same. Maybe this was a calling. I have to see this doctor and save my life.

* * *

><p>I know it was short, but it's not the end. It just ends Matt's story. Anyway, review and tell me if I'm doing a good job or a bad job. I'm hungry for a flame but I don't want it if it isn't real!<p> 


	5. Sora's Story Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon

A/N: I think I've torchured long enough. Here's Sora's story.

* * *

><p>Chapter 5<p>

I can't believe today was the day. It was just yesterday we had to take Matt to the hospital and now I'm alone for the first match of my last tennis tournament. While my boyfriend was at his therapy, I was serving the first ball. The game was tight but with my partner, Lori, we couldn't lose. Her back-hand was to die for.

By the time we were at forty-love, Matt finally showed up with Gabumon. I was distracted when they entered, which gave the other team a chance to score. Darn. I looked at Lori and hoped she didn't notice.

"Get your head in the game, Takenouchi!" She said. "We have to win this!"

"Right." I took the ball and served it. It took a while, but we finally got that last point! We were moving up! But instead of cheering with my team, I snuck over with my sweat pants to meet with Matt and Tai. "Hey, guys." I greeted.

"Nice game, Sora!" Tai said. "You and Lori were on fire!"

"Thanks." I smiled.

"You were really good." Matt gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"How was therapy?"

He sighed and shook his head. This only made me want to take it back. "It was crazy. I answered a bunch of questions and stuff. The only thing I didn't like was that I had to miss a lot of the first match."

"It's okay." I said. "I'm just glad you're getting help."

"Takenouchi, huddle!" My coach called.

I sighed as I turned back to the boys. "Guess I should go." I said. "The next school is coming."

"Good luck." Matt told me as I headed off.

And the rest of the tournament weekend went like that. Friday and Saturday were spent doing tennis matches. Nothing really interesting happened except for that last game. Our last set was won with epic ease. The other team must have gotten discouraged or something. Anyway, we won!

Me and Lori exchanged a high five and squealed like little school girls. "We did it!" We cheered.

"I can't believe this was our last game." She said.

"Me either. But we made it worth the whole ride!"

While we were doing that, some reporters came with their cameras and recorders and other stuff. Lori and I huddled together as one of the reporters came rather close to us with a recorder. "Sora and Lori, how does it feel to win a nationwide tournament for your school?"

"It's an amazing experience to come as far as we did." Lori said.

"It's such an honor to get to play with the best schools in the country." I said.

"Can we get a few shots of the team captains?" A photographer asked.

"That's us!" Lori cheered.

"Great!" He set up his tripod. "Can I get you two close together with your rackets in front?" He snapped a picture. "Really nice! Can I get another one? But this time show me how tough you are. You know, like women of power." We did and he snapped the picture. "Very nice. Thank you, ladies!"

"No problem." I told him.

"Sora, Lori!" Our teammate, Cho, called. "We're loading the bus!"

"Let's go!" Lori said. "I can't wait to put the trophy in its case!" I nodded and headed back.

I was really excited to get home so I could tell Mom all about my trip and tell Matt we won. Lately, Matt and I have been struggling to stay close. It's been a while since we went out and he hasn't really spoken to me. I know it was his eating disorder that kind of got between us, so now that it's going away, I have to get myself back in his life. So now, I tried to keep him in touch as much as possible.

When I got home, I flashed my shiny metal to my mom. She looked at it for a second and her whole expression lit up. "You won! That's great! I knew you could do it." She gave me a hug. "How should we celebrate?"

I shrugged. "Oh, I don't want anything big and extravagant. We could just do pizza and a movie."

"No, Sora, this is a big deal! We have to make this celebration a little more special!" She grabbed the phone and started dialing.

"Who are you calling?" I asked. "Are you planning a huge party or something?"

She looked at me for a second. "That's a good idea!"

I rolled my eyes and plopped on the couch. "Mom, you don't have to blow this out of proportion. It's just winning the championship."

She shrugged. "Well, you may not want a party, but I'm sure the rest of your team does. You may never see them again. Remember, this was your last tournament."

I nodded, playing around with my medal. It was so prestigious looking. It was something our whole team earned along with the huge trophy in the display case sitting in the sports hall at school. It was an honor to be there. "Maybe a party would be a good thing." I said. "But it shouldn't be too formal."

"Oh, come on, Sora..." She was saying until the other line finally picked up. "Hi, honey. Am I interrupting?"

There was a long pause. My guess was that Dad was saying "Not at all, class was great! How is everything on your end?"

"Sora's home. She won! Isn't that great?" Another pause. "We were thinking of throwing a party for her and all of her friends."

"We?" I asked her with a giggle.

"Thank you! You won't regret it. Don't worry! I've already been saving up for this moment!"

I watched as she said her goodbye and hung up. "You must have a lot of money saved." I noted.

She nodded. "A lot. Now, I want this party to be like an American prom. Which means that I want you to go out and buy a dress."

"When will it be?"

"It would have to be at the end of May. A month should be enough time before you graduate."

I nodded. "Okay, well I better spread the word." I scraped myself off of the couch and went over to the computer where I might spend the rest of the night.

()()

That next weekend, I was a the dress store with Mimi and Lori. With no surprise, it was the hardest thing for me. Mimi kept telling me to get one type of dress while Lori tells me to get a totally different one. Mimi, who just graduated in America and came all the way here for the party, took a pink dress off of the rack. It was knee-length and strapless. "How about this?" She asked. "It'll look great on you."

I shrugged before taking it. It did look nice. "Okay."

Lori came up seconds later with a black pant suit. "How about this one for me? I was also thinking of cutting my hair." As you could see, Lori is a bigger tomboy than I am. She took down her long black ponytail to get a good look at it. To estimate, I think it was as long as Mimi's hair.

"How short?" Mimi asked.

Lori smiled and gave us the "Oh, you know..." Then she told us "I was thinking of hacking it all off."

We gasped. "What?"

"Bald?" Mimi asked.

"No, not bald." She answered. "Just a pixie cut."

I sighed in relief while Mimi was still in super shock. "I can't believe you want to cut off your hair."

Lori giggled. "It'll grow back, but in the meantime, I want to go to college with a fresh look."

"So you're hacking it before the party?" I asked. She nodded. "Okay then." I shrugged it off and continued to check out.

Mimi grabbed a blue knee-length dress with pink flowers going down the side and placed it on the counter. "I can't believe we're having a huge fancy party! Is everyone going to be there?"

I nodded. "I believe so. But I'm not sure about Matt. He didn't seem to excited when I told him."

"But he has to come." Lori said.

"He's still dealing with his problems." I told them, getting out the credit card. "If he doesn't want to be by a crowd so soon, then he doesn't have to."

I swallowed, thinking about how he acted on the phone. All I did was tell him hi and he just went off. "Sora, this isn't a good time right now! I'm busy. I'm sorry if you wanted to schedule a date or whatever but I can't. I don't think I can even handle a girlfriend right now." He sighed. "I'm sorry. I was just cranky. What did you want to tell me?"

I gulped before saying. "I just wanted to see if you wanted to go to a party next month but apparently, you have no time."

"I said I was sorry." He started getting angry again. My guess was that he was about to sit and eat but couldn't do it. "Look, you're right. I can't be snapping and yelling at you every chance I get. I need to focus on myself for a while."

I sighed. "I understand. Don't worry about it. Everything will be okay."

"Great. I'll talk to you later. And keep me posted about that party. I might show up."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay. Bye." The call ended and I was left with tears. Not a lot. Just two or three. I wiped them as quickly as I could so no one would notice. That's when Mom came in and...

_Sora? Sora?_

...she looked at me with concern and...

_Sora!_

...she said...

"SORA!" Lori practically yelled in my ear, making me jump and drop everything. She giggled. "You sure were spaced out!"

"Yeah, Sora, we were calling your name for the longest." Mimi said. "Thinking about Matt again?"

I nodded, swiping the card and taking the receipt. "It's nothing though." I grabbed the bags and headed out.

"Are you sure?" Lori asked, following close behind along with Mimi.

I didn't answer.

"Oh my..." Mimi gasped. "He broke up with you."

I sighed before giving them a smile. "No!" I lied with a laugh. "Are you kidding?"

"Then why don't you just talk to him?" Lori asked.

"What?" I quickly spun around to see her pointing across from us at Matt, Tai, and Izzy. They were browsing around the mens suit department.

What am I going to do? What do I tell him?

Those dangerous blue eyes spotted me from far away, making me shiver. What really got the nerves going was how he smirked that cool guy grin. He slowly made his way to us along with his buddies. Something about the way he walked - swaying a bit both ways - didn't seem right.

"Hey." He greeted, locking his eyes on me.

"Hi, guys." I greeted them, trying to look away. Something about his eyes didn't look right. They were hazy and dark.

"How come you didn't tell me the party was yours?" Matt asked me. His voice was slow and clumsy. Each word kind of stumbled over the other.

"I would have," I said, pretending nothing was wrong, "but you know..."

He sighed, exhaling to the air. "Yeah, about that..." He looked back at me, deep into my brown eyes. There was a certain spot he used to really connect to me. "I was just angry and stupid. Do you forgive me?"

I nodded, trying to break the connection. Mimi was showing Izzy the dress she bought while Lori told Tai about her haircut plans.

Matt smirked and grabbed my chin. Then he guided me in for a kiss. What surprised me was that he was so willing to do it in front of everyone. The other was that he had a different scent to him. It was familiar but at the same time completely new. It was as if Matt wasn't Matt anymore.

I lightly pushed away to look as if the kiss had just ended. "Great!" I said. "I'll call you later."

He coughed a few times before saying "Cool."

I shot Mimi and Lori a look to tell them to follow before leaving. Maybe he just needed some time to clear his head.

()()

When I got home, I was hesitant to pick up the phone. Maybe he doesn't want to talk about it. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he was hurt or upset. Maybe I just shouldn't call him.

But, eventually, I was pressing buttons and the phone was ringing on the other end. "Hello?" The voice on the other end answered. He sounded pretty tired.

"Hi, T.K." I greeted. "Is this a bad time?"

"No, actually." He answered with a laugh. "I'm glad you woke me up. I was in the middle of my history homework when I fell asleep. What's up?"

"You see," I started, messing around with the hair clip I took out earlier, "it's about Matt."

"What?" There was shuffling around on the other end. Maybe he was getting up.

"I ran into him in the mall earlier and he just seemed...a little strange. I was just wondering if he was okay."

There was silence. "Hmm..." There was a little bit of movement going on. What was he doing? "Not that I know of, but I'll get to the bottom of things."

"Thanks, T.K."

"No problem, Sora. And don't worry too much about Matt. His therapy is going just fine."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

As soon as I hung up, Mom was standing right behind me with a huge smile on her face. "I have really good news for you." She said.

With her huge Cheshire cat smile, I was almost afraid to find out. Almost. "What is it?"

"Your coach called earlier. Do you remember those reporters that took your picture? They're asking permission to turn it in to a sports modeling agency along with Lori's!"

My eyes widened. "You mean..."

"You could be a model!" She clapped for joy. "They left me their number so you can give them an answer whenever you're ready."

She handed me a sheet of paper with the number written in red ink. I could tell it was written with her special red pen she used to mark events or sales and whatnot. I stared at the numbers carefully as Mom was ranting about something. But the whole time, I was thinking about Matt. Would he like it if I became a model? I mean, it could pay for college. But what if something happens and I end up in therapy with him. From what I've heard, modeling is a tough business. Either way, I have to ask him.

But instead of me calling him, he called me. "Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, Sora, it's Matt."

"Hi. How are you?" I sat down on the couch and got comfortable with a throw pillow.

"Eh..." He answered. "I've been better. I just called to...apologize. I wasn't myself at the mall."

"What happened?"

He sighed. From the background, I heard someone say "Go on. Tell her."

"Is that Tai?" I asked.

"Yeah. He was just leaving." There was a pause before he told me "I was just a little stressed and..."

"You're eating, right?" I asked.

"Yes." He chuckled. "Look, I just want to say that I love you. You've known me for years so you should know how hard it is to admit that."

I giggled. "Yes, I bet it must have been."

"But I remember that day... You didn't say it back."

I gasped, knowing he was right. I didn't return the feeling. "I'm sorry. You sprung it up so suddenly that I thought you were hurt or something."

"Well...? Say it. Please?"

"I love you." I said before drawing in a breath. "I really do. That's why I want you to tell me what's going on whenever you're stressed."

There was a pause. "I'm sorry."

There was a bit of silence before I said "The reporters like the picture they took of me and Lori. They were thinking of us becoming sports models."

"A model?" He asked very shockingly. "No. You can't."

I crinkled my brow. "Why not?"

"Because you'll leave."

Last I checked, Matt would be on board with whatever made me happy. Why is it so different now? "Matt, what has gotten into you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're not yourself. Lately, you've been keeping so many secrets to yourself. You won't let anyone in anymore."

"I haven't changed at all."

"Yes, you have!" I raised my voice, overlapping him. "You have. That's why you weigh less than my duffel bag."

"Sora..."

"Matt..." I sighed. "Maybe you were right the first time. But I don't want to give up on us."

"Me either." There was a pause. "What do we do?"

"Try harder." I said. "Let me in."

He sighed. "I will. Promise."

* * *

><p>Sorry for wait! School is rough! Anyway, review and tell me how I'm doing. I'll take any comment or criticism! Thanks :)<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon

A/N: Tell me what you think.

* * *

><p>Chapter 6<p>

"Sora, are you ready to go to the ballroom yet?" Mom called. We were about to leave for the big party but I had trouble with my hair and makeup.

"Almost." I said, doing the finishing touches on my eye makeup.

"Hurry or we'll be late." Dad said.

"I'm coming." I shoved some makeup and breath mints into my clutch bag and hurried out.

On the whole ride there, I kept clenching that bag because I was worried. Matt and I have been "trying harder" but it seems like I'm the only one trying. Matt has been coming and going without telling anyone. Not even his father. It's like there's a bigger secret just waiting to explode and destroy everything. But what could it be?

"Sora, are you okay?" Dad asked.

"Fine." I answered, shooting him a fabulous grin. But I was really not.

"Did you think about that modeling job?" Mom asked.

"Still thinking." I answered. "Matt told me not to because he thought I would leave him, but at the same time, I want to do it."

"Do what makes you happy." Dad told me.

I nodded as he pulled into the parking lot of the hotel. Yes, Mom saved a lot of money. As soon as Dad was securely in the space, Mom hurried out of the car and into the building. Dad and I followed a little later. I scanned the lot for one person in particular, but he wasn't here yet. It was just a young couple and a family. Their little girl looked at me with awe.

"Mommy!" She said, grabbing her mom's hand. "She looks like a princess!"

The mom looked for herself and said "Wow, honey, she does!"

"Like a model." The dad said.

I waved to them with a friendly grin. The girl bounced as she waved back. She was so excited. I wasn't even a model yet and I already had a fan!

Inside, the DJ was already playing music and a few people from the team showed up. My coach was having a good time with her assistant, Li. They had a very close relationship. It's a shame we're graduating next month. Anyway, as the time went by people started piling in. I was really waiting for Matt.

By the time he came, everyone was already here and having fun. I pushed passed so many people to get to him. "You made it!"

He smiled. "I couldn't miss your special day." He told me. "Where's Tai?"

I was kind of taken aback by the request but I pointed to the punch bowl anyway. "He's over there."

"Thanks." He pushed passed me and headed off.

Lori saw this and stood her ground right next to me along with Mimi on my other side. "What was that all about?" Mimi asked. Her hair was pink again which went nicely with her dress.

"Nothing." I said. "Something important must've come up."

"Yeah right." Lori said. Her hair was mega short now. "I'm sure he's cheating. I knew something was wrong when he treated you badly before."

"What?" Mimi asked. "What did he do?"

"You see," she started, "he..."

"That's enough! Nothing is going on." I told them.

"Sora, I love you, but you have to be firm about this."

"Lori's right." Mimi said. "The only one who can change anything is you. Make him listen."

I looked at both of them with their determined faces. They were right. I am just being pushed aside and I hate it. "What should I do?"

"Find him and tell him off!" Lori anticipated.

I nodded. "But I can't be too harsh."

"No, no." Mimi said. "Firm not harsh. We'll go with you."

I took a deep breath and began my journey through the crowd. My heart was thumping to the beat of the bass as I maneuvered through the bodies of sweaty teens, trying my best not to get hit by flying elbows. I was getting more and more nervous as we got closer and closer to the stage area. On the way, I would pass by a few DigiDestined who would say "Nice party, Sora!" and "Congratulations!"

"Everything okay, honey?" Mom asked. I nodded and kept moving. Just keep moving.

By the time I reached the bowl, he wasn't there. Instead, T.K. was sipping punch and dancing with Kari. "Hi, Sora!" He greeted over the loud bass that was thumping. "Nice party!"

"Have you seen Matt?" I asked both of them.

"Pat?" Kari asked.

"Matt!" I yelled.

"Matt?" T.K. answered.

I nodded.

"Out back!" He answered. The song changed into a slow song. To Kari, he said "Wanna dance?"

"Sure!" They grabbed each other by the hand and left.

"Why would he be out back?" I asked Mimi and Lori.

"Maybe he's with another girl." Lori said. "Guys do that kind of stuff all the time. This is why I can't stand them!"

"Lori!" A girl called. She was wearing such an elegant black dress that flowed like her beautiful red hair. Honestly, I had no idea who she was.

"Hey, Jade!" She called back. As the girl made her way over here, Lori said "This is why I don't bother with them." Once Jade was here, her and Lori shared a warm welcoming kiss, softly on the lips.

I looked at Mimi who looked at me with a raised eyebrow. That's when I remembered this was the Jade Lori keeps bringing up. "It's nice to meet you, Jade." I greeted. "Lori tells me so much about you." Too much if you ask me.

"I heard about you too, Sora!" She said, wrapping her arms around Lori.

I looked at Mimi and then the back door. "Come on!" I told her. "We have to find Matt!"

"Right." She nodded. "Coming, Lori?"

Lori just finished and eschimo kiss with Jade. "Coming!"

And without further interruption, we were heading towards the darker area of the ballroom. My heart started pounding all over again. What if he is with another girl? But of course he wouldn't do that. He loves me. I gulped before reaching a hand towards the handle. What was on the other side of this door lies the truth. I jerked the door open and, to my horror, I saw Matt inside a huge cloud of smoke.

"Matt?" I asked. Matt looked at me with fear in his reddened eyes. Mimi and Lori slowly disappeared as I kept my eyes on Matt.

"Sora, listen..." He started before coughing.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Matt looked at his guitar buddy, Gus who was holding a joint in his hand. "Uh..." He said.

"Just talking." Matt answered.

"You're lying." I said, shaking my head. "You're lying and you're getting high!"

"Sora, I..."

"Why would you do this to yourself? You just got out of an eating disorder. What makes you think drugs are the answer?" I was practically yelling.

"Look, Sora, I know this looks bad but it's actually helping me." He said in his old cool guy tone. "I can actually get my appetite back."

I shook my head again. "I can't believe you would do this. And after I stuck up for you, you of all people would do this to me." He didn't say anything so I headed back inside.

But he stopped me with a firm grip. "You can't tell anyone about this." He said just as firmly. "Not a soul."

I threw his hand off. "What has gotten into you?"

"Why is everyone asking me that?" He yelled into the sky.

"Because you're acting crazy!" I yelled back. He stared at me with those huge reddened blue eyes before I headed back in.

Why would he do this? He's driving me insane! Matt has me worried sick and I don't think I can handle it anymore. Maybe it is the end for us. Maybe I need to start new. I noticed my coach on the stage with a few papers in hand as she approached the podium. After trying my best to find Lori, I waited to see what Coach Ito had to say.

"I will like to thank Mrs. Takenouchi for making this party possible." She said. "I know this is supposed to be just a party, but I have an announcement to make. I would like Lori and Sora to come up on stage."

Everyone applauded as we headed up the steps. "I wonder what this is about." She told me.

I only shrugged as we were on, staring at the crowd.

"These girls have been working hard since day one. Even the top universities have recognized them. That's why I would like to present our two team captains with two full ride scholarships to the University of Tokyo!" Everyone clapped as Coach Ito gave us our certificates.

Lori smiled at me and then took the microphone. "Thank you, Coach Ito!" She said. "I think I speak for both of us when I say that we'll gladly except these scholarships and make Odaiba High proud!"

Everyone erupted again with noise as we walked off. I immediately gave the certificate to Mom because I know she would take care of it. "Mom!" I called as the music started up again. She was mingling with some of the other parents in the Booster Club. "Mom, I made up my mind."

"You did?" I nodded.

"I'm going to do the modeling."

()()

The room was cold as sports girls stood everywhere, stretching. It was as if they were getting ready for a game. Lori sat next to me, looking very professional. She was just as nervous as I was. I could tell. When I told her that I was going for the modeling job, she was so happy. She told me that she can finally show off her girly side.

One girl came in with a huge coffee in one hand and a cellphone in the other. She was really tall and American. You could tell by the long blonde hair and big blue eyes and the fact that she was speaking English. She was obviously older than us. Like a college student. "I know. I'm sorry but I have to..." She was saying as she sat down next to me. "Okay whatever. Bye." She hung up and took a huge sip of coffee. Then to me, she said "Are you new here?"

"Yes, we are." Lori said. "I'm Lori and this is Sora."

"Hi, I'm Jennifer." She said extra bubbly. "I'm a cheerleader. What do you guys do?"

"Tennis." I told her. "How long have you been with the agency? What's it like?"

Jennifer flipped her long golden locks. "I've been coming here since junior high school. It's awesome! You just come in, do a few poses, and if you're lucky, they'll want you to represent their sports line!"

I looked at Lori who smiled back at me. "Sounds cool!" She said.

"Sora Takenouchi and Lori Kakudo?" One woman called.

"That's us!" Lori sprung up.

With two fingers, the lady motioned us over. She led us to this dark room where there was only a green screen and lots and lots (and lots) of camera equipment. "Stand here." She pointed to a white line and left the room. Lori and I looked at each other before doing what she said.

Later, the photographer from before came in. "Hi, girls!" He waved.

"Hi." We both greeted.

"I'm Jiro, you're photographer for the day. I'm just going to shoot a few photos and see how it goes. If it goes well, I'll try to find you an agent, which might be Ms. Lynn." He started fiddling with one of the cameras. "Can you give me a..." He thought for a second. "...a rule-the-world kind of look? No! No! Give me a us-girls-are-the-best-players-in-the-world look."

Lori and I posed with our serious faces on.

"Very good!" He took a few pictures. "Now I want a beautiful picture. Give me a sweet teammate look."

I was confused by the request but Lori wasn't as she gave me a hug.

"Aw!" A few more pictures. "I've heard something about you, Sora." He said, making me gulp. "Some of my pals noticed that you were - what is it called? - a DigiDestined. Right? You were one of the original right?"

I shrugged. "Well, there were some before us, but I am one of the ones everyone has seen."

"That's cool! Can you give me a Digimon-savior look? Lori, I'll need you to sit to the side."

I clipped my digivice to my hip, which he loved, and showed it off. He snapped a lot of pictures.

"Now, Lori, I will like to get a shot of you doing your killer back hand." Jiro tossed her a tennis racket.

Lori swatted the racket in the right motion.

"Beautiful!" He said, taking the racket back. "Thank you, ladies, that was a good show! Let me review the photos, show them to some people, and I or Ms. Lynn will get back to you."

"Thank you!" We both said as we exited.

As soon as Lori closed the door behind her, we had huge smiles on our faces. We're going to be sports models! Sooner than I could say that, Jennifer appeared around the corner. "I know that smile." She said. "I'm sorry. Better luck next time."

"What?" Lori raised her voice.

"I'm kidding!" She laughed. "I can't wait until we really start the photo shoots. Looks like you guys have a summer job." With that, she was called into the room.

As soon as she left, Lori and I casually left the place before going crazy. "We're going to be models!" We cheered.

"This will be the best summer job ever!" Lori said.

"I know!" I agreed. It was a good enough way to get my mind off of Matt. Even if we were officially broken up, I couldn't stop thinking about him. How stupid he was. How stupid we were. I couldn't help but to care if he was taking care of himself.

Even as the hot summer months went by, posing for magazines and catalogs my agent, Ms. Lynn, set up for Lori and me, I thought about him. The only thing I knew was that he was writing more music, going to therapy, staying out late with Gus, and smoking. Lots of smoking. But that's behind me. I had to focus on this. Even if it's not easy, I had to do it. I want to do this. Eventually, he will come back to normal.

* * *

><p>It's been a while, but I finally made the time to upload! Thank my Politics professor for the long wait!<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer:I don't own Digimon

A/N: Please review!

* * *

><p>Chapter 7<p>

Summer was coming to a close and the weather was starting to cool down a bit. The dressing room floor was scattered and littered with dead leaves from outside while the air smelt like sweat, hair spray, and deoderant. We just finished a calendar shoot for a sports line when I was washing some of my makeup off with a wet rag. Lori was furiously shoving things into her duffel bag.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

She sighed. "Summer's over and so is my modeling career." Lori dabbed some sweat off her brow.

I nodded. "Well, there's always next summer." I started packing things in my bag.

"You know what? I don't think I want to. I mean, it's fun and I met some nice people but I miss my girlfriend. We barely get to see each other anymore." She sighed. "Well, I guess that's it for the both of us, right?"

I agreed as I picked up my things. "Let's go."

She picked up her bag and followed me out. "Plus, I can't wait to play tennis at UT! I can't believe we got full ride scholarships!"

Before I could say anything, Ms. Lynn called out "Sora, can I speak to you for a moment?"

I stopped dead in my tracks. "I'll talk to you later." I told Lori before heading back inside the studio.

Ms. Lynn grinned before telling me "Do I have an offer for you!" I blinked in response. "I have a friend who works with many models around the globe. You know, Paris, Milan, America, the big places! I gave her some of the shots of the magazine we did about a month ago and she really likes you. I mean, she personally called me and said I like the girl with the digivice. She asked me if you would be interested in her new Digimon line!"

"There's a Digimon line?" I asked. Ms. Lynn nodded. "Wow!"

"Indeed! You will be one of the very first Digi-models out there. You will get to dress in the most artistic clothing that is just to die for inspired by Digimon with Digimon. All you have to do is say yes and get your parents to agree."

I could feel myself smiling again. What an honor! I'd get so much recognition! Me, the first Digi-model. Well, one of the first. "Let me talk to my parents!"

"Tell them right away! This offer is just to die for and aren't offered to just any model." Her smile softened as she gently said "You are beautiful, Sora Takenouchi. I'm sure anyone would agree. You have a real gift."

"Thank you, Ms. Lynn." I waved goodbye and headed on my way.

I didn't go home right away. Instead, I went to the flower shop where Mom was. It was noon on a Saturday so she was about to take her break. "Hi Mom." I greeted as soon as I stepped inside.

"Hi, Sora. How did it go today?"

"Good." I leaned on the counter as Mom kissed my cheek. "Okay, it was better than good. I got this fabulous offer that is just to die for!"

"Well, don't leave me in suspense!" She said as Biyomon came in. "What's the big news?"

"Ms. Lynn has a friend that works with models worldwide. She showed her a few pictures of me and now she wants me to be one of the worlds first Digi-models!"

My mom clapped for joy as Biyomon flapped her wings in excitement. "Wow, Sora, they must like you a lot!" She said.

I petted her soft feathers. "Ms. Lynn said I have a gift."

"And you do." Mom said. "Do you want to do it?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. It's going to be hard to work from place to place. Coming and going..." I took a look at Biyomon's big eyes. "What do you think?"

"This is a big opportunity, Sora. You should give it a try only if you want to. Then, if you don't like it anymore, you can quit."

I looked at Mom who agreed. "I should go ask Matt. I need to check up on him anyways. Are you coming, Biyo?"

"Yep!"

()()

I never realized how cold it was. Shivers kept going down my spine, shaking me to the core as I headed up the steps to the Ishida home. I was shivering a little but I wasn't cold. I could feel the goosebumps but it was hot outside. Something is wrong. I can feel it. It was some kind of aura I got when I'm around Matt, telling me there was a problem.

I knocked on the door a few times but there was no answer. "Matt, are you home?" I called. There was no answer for a while.

Then, with a jerk, the door swung open to reveal Gabumon and his worried face. "Sora, am I glad to see you!" He said. "Something is wrong with Matt."

"What is it?" I pushed passed him into Matt's room where something, indeed, was wrong with him. Matt was lying on the floor with his eyes glued to the ceiling. His eyes were dilated as drool slowly rolled down his cheeks. He was mumbling something. "Matt..."

"...wanna go... I wanna...go." He said. "...wanna...leeeaaave..."

I couldn't stand to see him like this. I didn't even know what to do so I touched his naked, cold shoulder. "Matt..." And as if the touch was poison, he started curling up to a ball and his breath became short.

"Get me out of here!" He yelled.

I looked over at Gabumon and Biyomon who were just as confused as I was. "Get help. Now." I commanded. As soon as they left, I told Matt "What are you talking about? What's the matter? I'm here, Matt."

His sharp blue eyes slowly turned to me. "Take me away." Matt said, grabbing onto my leg. "I'm seeing weird things."

Just in time, Tai and Joe burst through the door. "Stand back." Joe said, beginning his examination. He checked his eyes and his heartbeat first.

"Come on, Sora." Tai said. "Let's go wait in the hall." I nodded after taking one last look at Matt.

As soon as Tai closed the door, I started tearing up and everything. I was a little embarrassed to do it in front of Tai. "Did I do this?" I asked him. "Did I cause him to be this way? What happened, Tai?"

He shook his head, looking at the ground. "It was my fault. I should have told you sooner. I should've told anyone sooner. It's my fault." I stared at him, unable to say anything. "I knew this was going to happen. I was stupid enough to trust him to handle it himself. He handle his anorexia by himself so I thought..." He sighed and leaned against the wall.

"No, I saw him smoking. I knew something was wrong but I got so mad that I left for modeling. What kind of girlfriend am I? Now it's over." I sighed and leaned next to him. Our shoulders were touching. "Maybe I should just leave."

"What? No!" He exclaimed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean for modeling. I got offered a job as a runway model and tour the world." He was speechless. The silence was screaming in my ears. "You're not saying anything."

"I'm happy for you. It's just that...I'm going to miss you." He said, his deep brown eyes full of intensity. "I mean, I'll really miss you. I just want you to know that if you feel that no one here loves you, you're wrong. I want you to do this if it makes you happy, and I'll back you up one hundred percent."

"Oh, Tai..." I wiped away a tear.

Tai just kept looking at me in my eyes. It was like he was searching for something in my soul. It was kind of the look Matt gave me. Then, he put his hands on my cheeks and pulled me in for a kiss.

_"Hey, Sora, who was your first kiss?" He randomly asked me one day after school. I was shivering by the big oak tree while he was to busy being stupid…and eleven._

_"I never had one." I answered. _

_He sat down next to me with a huge loving smile. "Some of the guys in our class were bragging about it." _

_I smirked. "Are you saying you want your first kiss?"_

_"Well, yeah!" He laughed. "Don't you?" _

_A few dead leaves fell onto my lap. I brushed them away and said "Sure."_

_"Why don't we kiss and get it over with."_

_I__blushed.__"Okay,__Tai."_

I pushed away. "Tai, what...?"

He went wide-eyed. "I'm sorry, it's just that... Sorry."

I backed away a bit. "Tai, we can't do that with Matt in his condition." I scolded even though I kind of like the sudden affection.

"You're right." He sighed again as Joe came out.

"Call poison control." He told us.

()()

I know I shouldn't blame myself but how could I not? Matt is under medical attention again for drug abuse and I'm to blame. Now, I feel so guilty that I couldn't eat. I couldn't even tell anyone about the problem. I went to bed pretty early, but falling asleep was easier said than done.

Next thing I knew, I was up and packing my bag. Then, I called Ms. Lynn. "Sora, it's late." She complained.

"I know. I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep because I was thinking of that offer."

"You were?" She asked. I think I have her full attention now. "What did you decide? You thought long and hard right?"

"Yes." I said. "I want to do it."

I needed to get away from here. Odaiba has too much conflict. I need to get out and clear my head. Hopefully, Matt will do the same.

()()

"I can't believe you're going to Milan!" Lori said to me. "You have to stay in touch and get me a souvenir!"

"I will." After hugging my friends and family goodbye, I was about to board the plane with Biyomon when she flapped to get my attention.

"Sora, look!" She said. "It's Matt!"

I turned around in a flash to see him a lot better off than when I saw him a week ago. He was standing there, away from the others, waving with a small grin on his face. Not knowing what else to do, I made my way over there. "How are you?" I asked him.

"I'm fine." He answered. "I am now, anyway. I couldn't miss you leaving. At least not before I told you..." He stopped. I had to know what he said or it'll stay on my conscience forever.

"Tell me what?" I pressed. Hopefully not too hard.

"That I am...sorry. I lied to you, pushed you away, and caused you to worry. I almost killed myself because I was stupid, and even if you were nice to me and wanted to help me, I was still a jerk." He sighed and looked at his feet. "You know how I feel about you and I need to show it. I'm so sorry."

I gave him a hug. "It's okay. I love you too, but we should continue our break. I don't think I can deal with a long distance relationship."

He gulped and nodded. "I'll... I'll..."

"I'll miss you too." I said, releasing my grip. "Keep in touch."

He kissed my forehead. "Okay."

With a final wave, Biyomon and I were gone. Instead of leaving with a kiss from the one I love, Tai's lips still tingle on mine. But that's all in the past. Goodbye Odaiba. Hello, Milan.

()()

"_I don't see what's so special about your first kiss." Matt said. We were all alone under our DigiDestined hideout place: under the big tree in the park. One couple was sitting across from us. They shared in another kiss before leaving._

"_It's sweet." I told him._

"_No, it's not." He said. "I mean, you don't practice for it, and you don't have classes. You don't know what you're doing. It's awkward."_

_I giggled. "There's no special technique to it. You just pucker your lips and…kiss."_

_He looked at me. "You've done it before?" He asked this like it was more of a statement._

"_Yes. Two years ago." I looked back at him. "I'm surprised you haven't."_

_He shrugged. "Yeah." There was something odd about the way he kept looking at me and back at the couple. "It would be nice though."_

"_Are you… Are you asking for your first kiss?"_

_He smiled his cool guy grin. "If you insist." _

"_Okay." _

_Matt held my hands and closed his eyes. Then, he took a deep breath and leaned. How cute! He was nervous. Then, I did my part and leaned forward. And then we kissed. It was a beautiful kiss. Magical even._

_Once we pulled away, Matt hid that huge smile behind his cool guy demeanor. "How was it for you?"_

"_Good."_

"_Good. Me too."_

"_Good." He leaned closer to me and I did the same._

"_Good." He said almost in a whisper. And then we did it again. This time, it was longer and sweeter. It took forever to finally pull away. Matt likes me. He really likes me._

()()

"Put this outfit on, Darling! It is just to die for!" My new agent Mrs. Harumi Yamano, said, handing me a short pink dress with long feathers. It looked just like a human version of Biyo.

This is my first real runway performance thing. After a weekend of intensive training, Mrs. Yamano knows I was ready. She said my role was "just to die for." I was very important for this job or something. And as soon as I finished getting dressed, I headed out for my first strut.

The lights from all of the cameras flashed so brightly. I tried my best not to fall in my two-inch strappy heels. So far it was working just well. I struck a pose, waved to the beautiful people of Milan (elegantly of course), and headed backstage for my next quick change. As I was changing into a Gatomon-like outfit, another girl came in with a Tentomon inspired dress with an antina hat. She sat down next to me and put on some fur, Gabumon inspired pants. When she took off her shoes to put on some new ones, I noticed blisters and bleeding sores all over her feet.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She looked at me as she put on her fur coat. "It's just the price you pay for being a model." She said. "No room for whining." I watched as she left for the catwalk. And after putting on my skin-tight leather Gatomon pants and matching blouse, I followed her.

My other outfits were for DemiVeemon, Lillymon, and Terriermon. Then I was finally finished! My feet were pretty sore and full of blisters, so the young lady might be right. Beauty is pain. I sat down on the lounge chair with two other girls, trying my best to stay off my feet as much as possible. Biyomon sat down on my lap. "Wasn't that fun, Sora?" She asked me.

I nodded. "Well, except for my feet about to fall off."

"Ladies!" Mrs. Yamano burst through the door. "That show was just to die for! Everyone was perfect! Even our new girl, Sora." Then to me she said "You were amazing!"

Everyone agreed and clapped. I just blushed and waved like an idiot.

"Sora, I knew I can count on you!" She continued. "Our next show is in Paris. So we all need to pack our bags quickly! Our flight leaves tomorrow!"

The girls cheered while I was sitting there baffled. Tomorrow? How soon!

The next morning, my roommate, Francis, woke me up extra early. "We have to get ready to go." She told me in the most bubbly fashion. "We're going to Paris!"

Biyomon slowly got up and looked around. "Wow, it's early." She said. "It's five in the morning."

"We have to catch the plane!" Francis's Digimon, a Poromon, said. "Don't wanna be late!"

I finally sat up and rubbed my eyes. "I thought our flight left at nine."

Francis nodded. "It does, but I wanted to have time for a quick run. Will you join me?"

Seeing as I was awake and had nothing to do, I said "Sure."

The area was quiet as we began our run. The air was pretty cool, a nice temperature to feel the breeze through our hair. "I can't believe this is your first time." Francis told me as we ran around a corner.

"Yeah." I replied. "How long have you worked for Mrs. Yamano?"

She thought as we passed another couple jogging the other way. "About two and a half years. What do you think of it so far?"

"It's amazing! The whole experience is..." What's the word I'm thinking of? "It's just to die for."

"Believe me. Some girls did almost die to get here. I was a smoker to keep my weight down. Another girl was anorexic or bulimic. I forgot which one."

I sighed. "My ex-boyfriend had an eating disorder. But he's recovering."

We turned another corner. "That must've sucked." She said. "So what did you do to get here?"

I smirked. "All I did was play tennis."

()()

It was nice to have everything basically served to you on a silver platter. Mrs. Yamano and her husband supplied nearly everything their models needed (clothes, shelter, food, hair, water, makeup, etc) and our entertainment came out of our pockets but it wasn't much. There were even a few guys willing to pay for our stuff.

One time, Francis and I were wearing little tank tops and mini skirts in Africa because it was so hot. We went into a smoothie shop for obvious reasons and two guys came up to us. "What are two beautiful angels doing in a place like this?" One asked.

"Getting a drink." Francis said, messing with her necklace. It was her innocent girl trick that got them to pay attention.

"Do you come around here often?" I asked, doing the same thing.

"Yeah!" The other guy said. "How about you?"

"No." Francis shook her head. "You see, we're traveling models."

I started looking at the menu. "What do you hot guys recommend?"

"Strawberry banana." They both said.

"How about we have some together?" Francis asked.

"Sure!" They both said and paid for our drinks. As soon as we got them, though, we made up an excuses (look at the time!) and left. I couldn't help but to feel dirty.

"You'll get used to it." She told me.

And eventually, I did. I got whatever I wanted by tricking guys into getting it for me. I stopped working for little things and demanded a lot more. It was like I was becoming a spoiled brat. But I just had to have more. My people love me and I love my fans. And my fans love to see me happy. And in return, the next outfit I wear for them, the next picture, the next pose, will be just to die for.

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><p>Review! Review! Sorry I'm late again. But I forgot :P I'll try to set a schedule to keep writing. But Review Anyway!<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon

A/N: How was the transition in the last chapter? Keep up the reviews!

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><p>Chapter 8<p>

"I can't believe it, Biyomon!" I told her. "We're going to America!" I exclaimed as the plane began to take off. As expected, I was sitting in first class with my darling Digimon. "Excuse me, stewardess, can I have another water?"

Biyomon sighed. "Yeah." She said with absolutely no enthusiasm or poise.

"Posture, Biyomon." I told her. "You're a model now! What's the matter?"

"It's just that..." She started. "Don't you think this stardom is getting to your head a bit?"

"What? Absolutely not! I've just arrived!" Then, I called "Stewardess, my water?"

"We've been going around the world for a year now and you've changed so much."

"Biyomon..."

"Your water." The stewardess said, politely handing the bottle to me.

"Thank you, Darling." Then to Biyo, I said "I'm still Sora. I'm just a little older. You know, more mature. I've finally gone out to see the real world and it's beautiful!"

Biyomon shrugged. "Isn't there a thing where you change so much that you lose who you are but it turns out to be homesickness?"

"Biyo, relax. I'm not becoming a spoiled celebrity." I told her.

But maybe she had a point. I stopped calling Mom everyday and I stopped checking in on Matt. Last I checked, he was checked into a rehabilitation clinic. I wondered what everyone was up to until the plane landed.

()()

As we were getting ready for our next fashion show, I had a little trouble getting into my Angewoman outfit while Francis had the same problem in her LadyDevimon outfit. "Why can't there be a Digimon with comfortable clothing?" She asked. "I hate my shoes and pants squeezing me so tightly."

"Me too." I said. "But I think you have the wrong boots on. It doesn't really go with that." Being surrounded by fashion for so long can teach you a thing or two.

"Gosh, Sora, you're so on top of this fashion thing. It's like you were never a jock!" I smiled before she said "Maybe you can start your own line one day."

"You think?" She nodded. "Maybe we can get some comfortable clothes!"

"For everyday wear." She finished as she helped me with my wings. "And for kids too. I mean, I don't think a eight year old would be comfortable with all of this cleavage!"

"Right." Let's just say I took those thoughts to heart.

When we finished, I was sketching a few kimonos as well as children's shirts and skirts. To my opinion, they were just to die for! Biyomon thought so too when I showed her. "That's really nice, Sora!" She said. "I can't wait to go back to Japan. Then we can show them."

I sighed. "This has been fun though. I can't wait until next year!" I shoved the notepad into my purse and boarded the plane. "I can't wait to see everyone again, Darling. It's been absolutely too long."

Biyo nodded. "It has."

Instead of seeing everyone when I got home, I went straight to bed. I was wiped after a long trip around the planet. But the next day, I was rested and ready. After about two and a half hours of getting ready, I saw Tai first.

"Sora!" He cheered and gave me a hug.

"Tai, darling, nice to see you again!" I said back.

Tai pulled away and looked me up and down. "Did you get all dressed up to see me?"

I looked at my outfit which was a simple red dress and black stockings complimented by a ruby red stiletto. "Oh, this? I just through it on."

Tai just smiled. I could tell he was just absolutely drooling! "Come in! Come in! Tell me about your trip!"

"Oh, my trip was absolutely breathtaking! All of the countries I visited had such great, elegant sceneries that were just to die for! I even brought you and Kari some things from Milan." I looked at Biyomon who was holding my bag. "Here's a wonderful jacket for you designed by the brilliant Mrs. Yamano and a lovely kimono also designed by Mrs. Yamano for Kari. Where is she?"

"She's on a date with that guy, Michio." He answered, putting on the jacket, as if I knew who that is. "How do I look?"

"Absolutely stunning, Darling!" I clapped by hands.

"You know, there's something different about you, Sora."

I shrugged. "Possibly. Take me to see Matt. Where is he anyways?" I grabbed his hand and guided him out the door.

()()

Odaiba Rehabilitation Clinic was so much of a cheerful place. It probably would have annoyed Matt to death. Before I could speak to the receptionist, Matt was already in the waiting room. I can't believe it's been a whole year. "Matt!" I waved.

Matt got up and waved back. As he made his way over here, I could tell something was different. Something wrong. "Who's this, Tai?" He asked.

My eyes widened. Can one year make someone forget who they loved? "It's me, Matt. Sora."

He just looked at me for a second. "You are." He slapped his forehead. "You just look so...different."

"She's wearing makeup now, Darling." Tai teased. "It's just to die for."

"That's not it." He took a closer look. "You've changed."

"How can you tell?"

"Where's your digivice?"

I gulped, frantically searching my purse. "I must've left it at home."

"You usually bring it everywhere."

I just stood there, staring at him then Tai. Can you believe what he's saying to me? And all Tai could do was just watch and slowly back away with Biyomon. "We'll just leave you two alone." He said.

"See you at home, Sora!" Biyomon waved goodbye and they were gone in a flash.

I looked back at Matt. "What are you trying to say?" I asked. "So what if I did change?"

"I mean, look at yourself. Makeup, your hair, your fancy clothes..." He waved at my appearance.

I slapped his hands away. "I've only been here for a few seconds. You can't make a huge generalization based on a few pointless seconds."

"Look at how you're standing."

I looked down at me feet. I had a pose going on with my hand on my hip. "What about it? I have a gift in modeling. And what about you? Last I checked, you're in rehab! You didn't exactly stay the same either."

He took my hand and nearly dragged me out of the building. "Look, I have my reasons. You just let your head get big."

I gasped. "What? No, I didn't! You let your head get too big for your own good. You don't deserve the Crest of Friendship. You never let anyone in anymore. You stop letting everyone be your friend. You wanted to be the lone wolf so badly that I didn't know how to deal with it. So I left."

He sighed. "And what about you? I think you should have the Crest of Love? You left when I needed you. You left me when I felt lonely and afraid. I wanted just to leave this whole world behind." He looked serious. "People on this planet can be cruel."

"Yeah." I said, taking my heels off. "They can change people too."

"You know, whenever I got high, I saw stars and planets. They were beautiful. All I want is to go there and forget all the bad things here. Gabumon thought it would be cool to be the first Digimon-DigiDestined team to go on an expedition. I have a new dream."

"No more music?"

He shook his head with a small chuckle. "This is what the music business did to me. I just got out of rehab!"

I smiled. "And no more modeling. I found a new dream too. The whole time I was there, I've stepped on so many people. I've demanded so much and gave so little. Before all of this, back at the huge party a year or two ago, there was this little girl who saw me in my dress. She told me I looked like a princess." I laughed a bit before letting out a sigh. "I forgot her. The look on her face when I waved at her. She was so happy. If she saw me now..." A tear went down my cheeks. I really have changed. "Now, I want to give back to the world. I've taken so much and now it's time to give back. That's why I want to go to school and start my own fashion line."

Matt wiped my tears. "Isn't it funny how much of a journey we had to get through to be where we are today?" He laughed. "Look at us! This is what happens when we separate, except my story was a lot more life threatening."

I laughed with him. "Are you saying that we shouldn't have broken up in the first place?"

He nodded. "I have an idea to fix this though. Let's get married. That way we will always be together."

"Oh, Matt, you're so romantic." I joked.

He rolled his eyes. "Did you really expect me to do the one-knee thing?"

"A lot of guys don't do the one-knee thing." I said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and held me close. I really missed that. As we started walking, I asked "So when we get kids, are we supposed to tell them that you proposed to me in front of a rehabilitation clinic?"

"Kids?"

"Yes. I want four of them."

"Four? How about one?"

"Two?"

"Deal." And we settled it with a kiss.

()()

Remember that scholarship I got? Well, I played tennis for the University of Tokyo to keep in shape and inspired, but my real goal was fashion. I turned that scholarship into a bachelors degree along with my fiancee who majored in physical science. It wasn't as hard for him as I thought it would be. He's actually a natural!

Anyway, a year after we graduated, Biyomon and I started our first company and Matt and Gabumon were off in training. We got married that June and had our first child the following year. It was quite the experience.

Matt just came home from getting a haircut when I was nearly dying on the couch. "What took you so long?" I asked him. "The baby is coming today!"

It was some day! I remembered holding onto Matt's hand as he and Tai coached me. Eventually, little Kim Ishida was born. I remembered telling her "Bloom where you are planted. Don't let anything forget who you are or where you've been."

* * *

><p>So what do you think? Give me a review and follow me on Twitter :P<p> 


	9. Kim's Story Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.

A/N: Let's switch to Kim's point of view.

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><p>Chapter 9<p>

Sometimes, I just hate my life. My stupid baby brother keeps on messing with my stuff. I mean, I'm in middle school now and watching over a four year old isn't my idea of fun. "Shoji, quit it!" I yelled at him. "You're getting crayon on my homework!" I snatched the paper from him and tried my best to scratch off the blue wax.

"Sorry, Kim." He said. "I was drawing you a picture."

My heart kind of softened at that, but I knew he was trying to get on my good side. "I just finished that homework, Shoji. How am I going to explain to my teacher about this? And what will Makoto say?"

"Who's that?"

I blushed, as I continued scratching my paper. "No one!"

He blinked. "Isn't he Mimi's son?"

"How do you know?"

Shoji continued coloring. "We met him in Digi World."

"What on Earth is Digi World?"

"It's not on Earth."

I just raised an eyebrow. I was going to say something but my watch beeped. "Six o'clock. And Mom isn't here."

"Where's Daddy?" Shoji asked, falling out of his booster seat and landing softly (but not gracefully) on the ground.

"For the last time, he's on the moon!" I shouted. Hopefully he will get the picture!

"You're not making that up just to get me to stop asking, are you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Why would I make that up? He's really on the moon or on his way to the moon. Now, what do you want for dinner?"

"My favorite!" He cheered and hugged my leg.

"Stop it, Shoji." I tried to shake him off but he hung on and started giggling, which got me giggling too. "I'll make you your chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese if you stop! You don't want to get burned do you?"

He let go. "Okay." And then he left doing his baby things.

As I started dinner, I was a little worried. When was Mom coming home? Is she coming home tonight? Work must be tough today. That's why she stays so late. Mom trusts me to take care of myself and Shoji.

_"Come and meet your new brother." Dad told me._

_At eight years old, I was kind of scared, but when I saw him, I was happy to be a big sister. "Hi, Shoji." I waved._

_He responded by blinking. _

_"You shall fly high and be friendly." Mom said to him. "That's why I named you Shoji."_

Now I had to do everything for him whenever Mom isn't around. But it can be worse. I could be without my little brother like when Dad was growing up.

"Dinner is ready, Shoji!" I called. He came in wearing the green blanket Dad got him. "Did you wash your hands?"

He nodded and sat down. "Do you think we can go back?"

"Back where?" I asked, putting his plate on the table.

"Digi World."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "There is no such thing as..."

Before I could finish, someone broke down our door. Shoji was about to scream but I swooped in and grabbed him, covering his mouth. The guy was huge and scary. I wanted to scream and cry but he might have a gun. I motioned Shoji to stay quiet as I took him away.

"Hey!" The guy shouted. He came after us with nothing in particular in his hands. But there was a gun in his left pocket.

I was so afraid that I dragged poor Shoji with me while I still covered his mouth with my free hand. I dashed into the first place that came up: Mom's office. Shoji's face was wet with tears and sweat. "Stay quiet." I told him, trying my absolute best not to start sobbing. But I couldn't help but to let out a few tears. He was going to start worrying. I just know it.

"Kim..." He said as I pushed a few boxes in front of the door.

"Not now. Hush." I hissed, pushing more boxes. "Stay quiet and hide under the table."

"But..."

"Do it." I prayed that the guy didn't hear us. There was a crash in the other room: Shoji's room. "Okay that's all of them." I dusted off my hands on my pants and went to hide under the desk with my brother. But to my horrors, he wasn't there. "Shoji? Where are you?" I asked. "Shoji? Brother?" I looked all around for him but he wasn't here. "Okay, that's enough play." I started crying. "Come on out. It's not funny. Please don't leave me here." By now, I was bawling. Where is my baby brother? Is he safe?

Suddenly, the computer started to glow. I was too scared to look at it for a second but the glow was...kind of warm. Blue and green lights surrounded me. "Kim..." A voice called.

"Brother? Where are you?"

Before he could answer, the robber broke down the door and pushed the boxes aside like it was paper. Once I got a good look at him, I yelled to the top of my lungs. Just when I thought that there was no place to run, the lights grabbed me and pulled me in.

I was in Digi World.

I looked around and saw all of the strange coloration and beings around. I knew I wasn't on Earth. "Kim!"

Shoji ran to me and fell all over my lying body. "Shoji!" I yelled, half in happiness and half in pain.

"I told you!" He said, getting up. My brother started skipping around and jumping. "We're in Digi World!"

I sat up. "But how do we get out of here?"

"I don't know." He stood still and scanned the place. "Hello?"

Out of the bushes came some kind of pink plant with a face along with a head with orange fur all over and a horn coming out of its head. "Stay back, Shoji." I said, getting in front of him.

"We won't hurt you." The head said.

"We're your Digimon!" The plant jumped into my arms while the head did the same with Shoji. "I'm Yokomon!"

"And I'm Tsunomon." The other Digimon said. "We know you're Shoji."

"And you're Kim!" Yokomon cheered. Compared to Tsunomon, Yokomon was a lot more cheery.

"How do you know our names?" I asked.

"We were destined to meet." Tsunomon said. "Let's go to our new home."

Shoji and the Digimon cheered but I was not very excited about going back. "We can't." I said. "There's a guy robbing our house."

"Well, let's go get him!" Yokomon said. "Come on!" And somehow, we were gone.

Once I was back on my feet, I noticed how trashed the place looked. Boxes were knocked over and spilled. Mom is going to kill us when she comes home! "Where is he?" I whispered to no one in particular. Suddenly, I was grabbed by the neck and forced into a headlock. Surprisingly, Shoji didn't scream. He gasped but he didn't scream. I looked up to see who it was, praying that it was Dad, but it wasn't. I could feel the stubble the robber had against my head.

"Be a good boy and tell me where your mommy and daddy keep the money." He said.

"I'm not a boy." I managed to say. He had me in a strong chokehold, but I had to make that point. I'm a girl. Why does everyone assume I'm a guy?

"Just tell me where the money is." He pulled out a gun. "You don't want me using this do you?"

"Leave her alone!" Yokomon demanded.

"Yeah!" Tsunomon agreed.

Then together, they yelled "Bubble Blow!" and hit the guy's gun and sent it flying by Shoji's feet. "Bubble Blow!" They shouted again and hit the guy in the face.

The robber started to bleed from his nose. "You think you're so clever with your Digimon! But I'll be back!" He dropped me and bolted out the door.

I stood up and dusted myself off when I saw my brother reaching for the gun. "Shoji, don't!" He backed away and stared at me with confusion. "It could be used for evidence. We have to call the police."

As soon as I left the trashed office, Mom came home with Biyomon. Let's just say she wasn't too ecstatic to have the door fall off right when she opened it. "What happened?" They both asked.

"A mean scary guy broke in." Shoji cried.

Mom picked him up and rocked him to make him stop crying. "What do you mean? Someone actually broke in?"

I nodded. "Yes! He left some evidence behind."

"And what did you do? How did you manage not being killed?"

"We went to the Digital World." My brother and I said.

"Mom, meet Yokomon and Tsunomon." I opened the door to the office and there were our Digimon, standing valiantly.

()()

About two weeks later, we ended up moving to a different apartment building. Even if the cops caught the guy, we didn't want to take any chances. Now, we lived closer to Uncle T.K. and our cousin, Connor. He was okay, but I was jealous of his wide vocabulary and his cheery attitude. He would come to our door every morning and say "Ready to walk to school, cousins?"

"Ready!" Shoji answers and we would be off.

But today was different. Connor came to our house wearing all black and was all teary-eyed. "Ready to go?" He sobbed.

"Um...sure." I closed the door behind me. "What's wrong?"

He sighed and wiped a few tears. "My guinea pig died." He cried harder.

"Again?" Shoji asked.

"Isn't that your third one?" I asked.

He nodded, wiping some tears on his sleeve where he leaves his heart. "He was special. I got it the day Mom moved away." I didn't really know much about Aunt Yoko, but I heard she was famous and living in some big house close to work. Uncle T.K. wanted Connor to live in a normal environment so he lives here. Sucks for him.

"That's too bad." Shoji said.

Connor balled his fists. "That is it. From this day foreword, I'm done with guinea pigs. From now on, I'm a goldfish guy." He started crying into his hands. "Poor Chewy!"

"Poor Chewy." Shoji sighed.

"How did he die?" I asked.

Connor sniveled. "He...had a...heart attack."

"I'm sorry for your loss, Connor." I told him with a pat on the back. Connor responded to this by giving me a hug.

"Thanks, you guys." He hugged Shoji next. "I love you." Once he let go, he smiled and said "I have to move on. Chewy would've wanted that."

We ended up going back to his apartment to change into his normal clothes. That's Connor for you. Very hopeful and sensitive. Eventually, we started walking to school again. Shoji held my hand tightly every time we crossed a street. I was a little annoyed but I understood why. The streets were pretty scary. But when the light turned green for us to start walking, Shoji started first.

Suddenly, a car sped through, nearly running my brother over if it wasn't for Connor. He quickly grabbed him held him to his side until we were safely across the street. "That was a close one." He told him. "You have to be careful and look both ways."

"I'm sorry." Shoji responded.

I smiled like everything was okay but I was a little down. Last I checked, I was the big sibling. I'm supposed to protect Shoji. If I don't do that, then why am I here? What's my purpose? It was a dark feeling I got when that happened. And seeing Connor do it so easily with Shoji made me jealous. He wasn't even a big brother but he's a natural. It wasn't fair. Why is it so hard for me?

And it's been that same way for a while now. Shoji relied more on Connor than his own sister. After school we would walk through the park. "Push me, Connor!" Shoji would yell, pointing to the swings.

Connor dropped his bag down and Tokomon. "Okay!"

While they did that, I was wondering who the big sibling was. I was a year older than Connor so it has to be me, right? I sighed and walked on. I had to know who I am now. Mom was like a big sister to everyone when she got Biyomon. I wonder why she doesn't talk about it much.

When I got home, I put Yokomon on the couch and slowly made it to my room. After I plopped onto my bed, Yokomon poked her head in through the door. "What's wrong, Kim?"

I just lied there, unable to speak, not knowing what to say. When I spread my fingers around the sheets and under my pillow, I felt something. It was a digivice. But this one seemed different from Mom's. It was more like Uncle T.K.'s with the different buttons and features. "Wow!" I exclaimed in a whisper.

"A digivice!" Yokomon cheered. "That means you're part of the DigiDestined!"

"What?" I asked, looking at it. "That's cool." A smile sprouted on my face. "This means we can go to the Digital World whenever we wanted." Yokomon nodded. "Let's go!"

I headed over to the nearest computer which was the one in my room. My heart was thumping hard, making my hands shake. I finally remembered hearing about the Digital World. I thought Mom was making it up. Mom said there were a bunch of near death situations there.

_"I remember when I was there." Mom said. "Dad got into a lot of fights with Tai. I nearly fell into so many pits."_

_"Then there were all of the scary Digimon," Dad added, "and the darkness."_

_"You can't forget the darkness!" Mom and Dad laughed._

_"That can't be real." I said._

_"Oh, but it is." Dad reassured. That was a day before he left Mom pregnant and me here so he can go to the moon._

This only made me regret going a bit. Maybe they were right about everything. I thought they were just telling me a bedtime story but they weren't. I could have lost my parents many times before they fell in love. But that was then. Now, I'm about to go. If I'm not needed here, exploring the Digital World won't be so bad. "Digiport open!" I said while holding up the digivice.

And I went through.

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><p>I hope you like it! Please review!<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon

A/N: Review!

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><p>Chapter 10<p>

Here I am. I'm in the Digital World. The place where I came to hide.

Yokomon and I explored the place and discovered a cave. By that time I was tired and heavy with feelings, so we took a break. At first, it was cold but then I was warm. It was like something surrounded me to shield me from the cold. Yokomon sat next to me. "Yokomon..." I started but couldn't finish.

"What's the matter?" She asked.

I sighed. "It's just that...I'm glad you're my friend. I don't know if I could talk to anyone else."

"What's been bothering you? Don't worry, Kim. We're alone."

I sighed again. "Well, you know my dad isn't on Earth and Mom is working all of the time. It's like they're divorced without being divorced, so I feel like my life will be like Dad's. Since Mom works late like Grandpa used to, I'm left to cook and clean for me and Shoji. That's my job. I'm supposed to be Shoji's other parent. I'm supposed to protect him and be there for him. But ever since we moved next to Connor, it's like I don't even matter. Connor is always there to protect Shoji and I'm left on the sidelines. Lately, I stopped trying. I stopped trying to protect him."

"Why?" Yokomon asked. "He's four years old. He needs all of the protection he can get. So what if Connor beats you to it a few times? You are his big sister no matter what. You can't just give up."

Tears started rolling down. "Yes, I can. I did. Shoji doesn't need me, my parents are gone, and I'm alone. I'm all alone and I hate it!" I yelled. "I hate being alone! I just want to be a kid again!"

"Kim..."

"What?" I yelled, making Yokomon flinch. She was just trying to help but I was being a jerk. The truth was that I was drowning. I was sinking deeper and deeper with no hope to breach the surface. I was drowning.

Suddenly, I heard a voice. "Kim...!"

I turned around and saw Shoji holding his digivice and Tsunomon. "Shoji?"

"Kim!" He ran to me in tears and hugged my leg. "I found you, Kim! I was so scared."

I shook him off. "Go find Connor!" I yelled, making him start bawling. I crossed my arms. "Well?"

Shoji wailed as he ran away. Yokomon was so angry with me. "Kim, that wasn't nice." She said. "Your brother finally needed you and you turned him down."

"I don't care."

"Yes, you do!" Yokomon stood in front of me. "Shoji needs you!"

"No, he doesn't." I cried. "No one needs me."

"KIM!" Shoji yelled. I stopped sinking. This time I saw Shoji in distress and surrounded by light. With all of my strength, I started...swimming.

I dashed out of the cave and ran as fast as I could to where he was calling me. That's when I saw a huge Digimon torturing my brother and Tsunomon. "Hey!" I yelled.

"That's Kuwagamon!" Yokomon said. "He's too strong for us."

Poor Shoji was backed against a wall with Tsunomon still in his arms. I knew I had to act fast. I grabbed a huge stick and started rubbing it against another stick. "Come on!" I said. "Spark!"

"Kim..." Shoji started crying again.

"I'm coming!" Finally the stick was on fire. I made fire for the first time! Anyway, I charged towards the Kuwagamon with my little torch. "Get back!" I yelled. "Get back!"

The Kuwagamon roared and fled just like I planned. "You did it!" Shoji ran and hugged me.

I smiled. "It only matters that you're safe."

"See, Kim?" Yokomon said. "Shoji does need you to protect him. And if you don't have the chance to, at least he's safe."

Shoji looked at me with confusion. "That's why you were mad? You didn't want to protect me?"

I sighed. "No. You didn't need me. I wasn't a good big sister."

He let go. "But you are. You feed me when Mommy can't and you saved me from the scary bad guy. You're the best big sister ever!"

"I am?" He nodded. I finally breached the surface. I finished swimming into the light and, I have to say, it feels good out here.

"Kim, look!" Yokomon pointed behind me. Well, I got that she was pointing behind me even without hands.

I turned around and saw a haze of darkness falling off of me and back inside the cave. "Ew." I said. "That came from me?"

"It was The Darkness." She told me.

I shuddered. "Let's get out of here before it comes back!"

()()

It was a beautiful day in the Digital World. Dad came home from Mars and he brought a little piece for both of us. To celebrate, Mom called all of her friends and planned a huge trip to the Digital World. Since we were the first ones there, we had to sit and wait for the rest.

I made a few friends that day. They were really nice kids. But once everyone was there and accounted for, the party really got started! Even little Shoji got to play with the big kids.

"Now, be careful, son." Dad told him.

"Aw. How come?" He pouted.

I turned to Mom who was smiling back at me. I finally felt like a real big sister. Even though Mom and Dad won't be around as much, I still had Shoji to look after. No matter what. "I'll take care of him." I said with excitement.

"Okay." Biyomon said. "And I'll take care of you!"

()()

Matt's Point of View

()()

It's been twenty-five years since the darkness was vanquished. It's been twenty-two years since my music video for "I Turn Around" became number one. It's been twenty-one years since I got out of rehab engaged. Since I came back to my senses. Isn't it amazing how a person can change so much in a short period of time. My daughter has grown up so much in just three years. My son too. And to think, it was almost impossible to get here. Now I am. And it feels good.

I wish I can say that about everyone, but truth be told, there are too many people I've stepped on. All of my fans were devastated when I told them of our final concert. Jun probably cried! But I told them at my last concert why. I told them I had some problems to fix and the paparrazi went crazy! But I never told them specifically what those problems were.

While I was in rehab, I got the news from Tai that Gus was in jail for drug possession. Turns out he was more involved with it than I was and for longer. He got me into it. But from that moment, I knew it was over. Our band is forever dead and it's not coming back. I also realized where I was and who I was. I was no longer Matt. I became a guy who just messed up his whole singing career, love life, and body and was friends with a guy in jail. I became a guy who needed rehabilitation. I confessed everything to my therapist that day. Everything. And, as if by some sort of miracle, I was free.

And I'm still alive.

And I'm back.

My other ex-bandmates are off with their more realistic dreams. Shinji teaches music at the middle school, Gus is a guidance councilor, and Shun works at the junior college teaching sign language. He had a real gift. Who knew? And I'm an astronaut. Who knows? Maybe I'll quit the whole space travel thing and become a teacher too. But for now, I'm happy. For the first time in a very long time, I'm happy.

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><p>And that's the end with minor revisions. Matt's finally happy! If you remember (or even read) in my previous epilogue stories, I asked for requests for the next character. I'm sorry to say that I'm no longer taking request. Instead, I decided to do them all! So be patient with me. I've been working on some more. So Review this story and look out for another one!<p> 


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